Welcome Home GSORD!

On Saturday, July 30^th, Greensboro Roller Derby rolled out the welcome mats and invited the community to check out their new practice space in (finally!) Greensboro.  After over a year of practicing in High Point, the league finally found a home to call their own.  The celebration featured live music, artwork displays from local artists, two roller derby expo bouts, food, face painting, water balloons to beat the heat, and dj’s spinning music late into the night.  For those curious about how they would look as a derby girl or ref, hand-painted cut-outs for pictures provided the perfect opportunity.  

Live music from Big Rob's yet-to-be-named band warmed up the crowd as the teams for the first bout of the night warmed up on the track.  GSORD’s first graduating class of new skaters or Fresh Meat as they’re fondly referred to, were up to show off their skills in a mini bout after 6 months of hard work and passing their assessments.  The theme of the night was the 1990’s and in keeping with that, the Ravers took on the Grungies.  This was their first time bouting in an event and these girls brought it!  It was a close and hard fought battle but in the end the Grungies took the win 79 to 75. You’ll want to watch for these girls in future bouts because they are soon to be big contenders.

Up next, the lovely sounds of Emily Stewart and The Baby Teeth entertained the crowd while the grill kept them fed.  Meanwhile, it was time for the veteran skaters to take to the track and warm-up for the next expo bout called Saved by the Hell.  In this epic battle, the A.C. SLAYters were up against the Kelly KaPOWskis.  The fast-paced action kept the crowd on their toes and the teams kept it close.  It was another hard fought one; however, the KaPOWskis put the kibosh on the SLAYters, 108 to 102.

The rockin’ Decoration Ghost played into the night while the crowd of derby girls and guests mingled.  The space was then opened up for a dance party, as D.Js Larry and Prez kept the crowd going late into the night, fueling the nostalgia with 90’s hip hop and dance music.

It was a great opportunity for Greensboro to check out what their roller derby league is all about and how hard they work.  If you haven’t been to a bout yet, keep up with the schedule on the website and Facebook.  Make it a priority to see how amazing this league is and what an awesome addition to Greensboro they make.

I may vomit on the rink, and other worries.

Full disclosure. I am partially crazy. But if you play on my roller derby team, you already know that and kind of love me for it. Especially if you are a Nightmare. I have a tendency to get super nuts when something awesome is about to happen to me. Hot guy leaning in for a kiss? Mini throw up in my mouth. Headed to Carowinds? How bout I get in a wreck halfway there out of sheer nervousness! First roller derby bout? Sorry guys, can't make it. I am full on freakin'.

Okay, so most of that stuff hasn't really happened. Okay...all of it has...but I did actually attend, play in, and not die at my first roller derby bout. The following is how I think I managed to survive.

1. Have a scary person on your team slap you in the face (I prefer Flogger, Wifey (Schoolya), or Emma Ture). Steal my go to slap people and you are Dead To Me.
2. Know the rules. This seems simple, right? But it isn't. There are so many GD rules in roller derby it can literally make your head spin. Don't worry about it too hard though. No matter how hard you study, you can never prepare for your first major...which leads me to my next point...
3. Be nice to the refs. The NFL's refs are paid. Kind of a lot, when you think about it. But their job is f'in hard. They tell guys like Michael Vick they did Something Wrong. Uh, I don't want to do that. But our refs are volunteers. VOLUNTEERS. In theory, they are keeping us safe. So be nice to them from the start. Let the fans yell at them...and then buy each ref a beer afterward. Also, don't act superior to them because they are dressed like Zebras.
4. The night before the bout try to get some damn sleep. You won't, but at least try. Maybe even work on those “visualizing” techniques people keep talking about. Scientists said they work!
5. Eat food that doesn't come in a bag. Have a nice salad, maybe some grilled chicken even. Ask the vegans on your team what they are eating, cause God knows they eat better than your carnivore ass. But don't eat fast food. (Shush haters! Do as I say not as I do.)
6. Find the other crazies on the team. I won't call anyone out (*cough*Ripper*cough*), but I am not the only one who gets bananas on derby day. It is just in our blood to FREAK. You know how misery loves company? So do freak outers. Find your fellow freak outers so you don't feel judged (and to clarify, no one is actually judging you...there are two kinds of people...people who can't contain they are nervous and people who hide it very, very well). Dammit people with low blood pressure! Quit showing off how relaxed you are!
7. Have a super rad outfit. This helps, a lot. The hotter you look the less likely they are to institutionalize you, because it isn't 1952 anymore. Also, I feel more confident when I like what I am wearing. Take your time making sure everything fits and moves well with your body shape and that your number is clearly tacked on. There is no bigger buzz kill than getting a penalty for your number falling off. I am talking straight up Buzz Kill.
8. Drink lots of water. Signed, Captain Obvious
9. Pretend like you are really involved with the National Anthem, because that happens directly before Your First Roller Derby Bout Starts. I mean, listen and all (AMERICA RULES!), but take deep breaths and realize the person singing is just as nervous as you are. There is some kind of comfort in that. (Am I sick?!)
10. Hug your friends on the other team. Make sure to do this at half time as well. As Ari says, Hug It Out. I hate Entourage, by the way, but love that advice.
11. Say hi to your parents, family, friends, co-workers, and strangers you invited to the bout. They came because you asked them to. Make it worth it for them, especially because your mom is more nervous than you are. She birthed you and you are about to play a contact sport On Skates in front of her. Plus, where the hell did that unicorn tattoo come from?!
12. Okay...so your first jam. Don't worry about it. It is like being in a Pokemon cartoon your first jam...WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! How did I get here?! Why is that zebra yelling at me?! But GOOD NEWS PEOPLE! New Jam! There is always a NEW JAM. This applies to everything in your life. There is always, always, always a new jam. And sometimes (nods to Moloko) you gotta call off the jam.
13. Pretend your 12 year old self (eye patch and all...yes, jerk faces I work a damn eye patch!) is in the audience watching this bout. She thinks you are f*cking AWESOME! Smile at your invisible twelve year old self and pat yourself on your disgustingly sweaty back, 'cause face it dude-YOU ARE AWESOME.
14. After about your third jam you are probably starting to realize how awesome roller derby is. How all that hard work has finally paid off. Did I mention you were a rock star? Not to brag or anything, but I got MVP my first bout. I accepted my award after I vomited outside the emergency exit.

So, here it is guys. My first bout advice. I am like Buddha right? Buddha who has no ability to write a proper paper.

Just a side note-the nervousness never goes away. But when the hot guy/girl leans in for a kiss...Kiss their sexy ass right back!

XOXO

Miller Lightnin'  

Upcoming Events

After a year and a half, Greensboro Roller Derby is finally (primarily) based out of Greensboro!! Go figure. We're still bouting in High Point, but the league is now back home in some sweet, warehouse rental digs. Please come celebrate with us at our wareHouse warming, and take a look at how we've grown with the help of your love and support. And we're having a 90's theme, y'all, so come dressed in your freshest threads (no ...pressure).

$5 entry fee (Cash only!). Yo! That gets you:

2 derby bout expos:
-Fresh Meat debut in The Ravers vs. The Grungies
-GSORD vets in SAVED BY THE HELL: The Kelly KaPOWskis vs. The A.C. SLAYters

Live performances by:
-Decoration Ghost (https://www.facebook.com/p​ages/Decoration-Ghost/1037​11407395)
-Sterogram (www.reverbnation.com/stere​ogram)
-Emily Stewart and the Baby Teeth (https://www.facebook.com/p​ages/Emily-Stewart-The-Bab​y-Teeth/121531827905903)

Games for adults and their kids! Bring your bathing suit, kiddies, and stay (too) cool!

We are going to be grilling and selling hot dogs and hamburgers (w/ vegetarian and vegan options), as well as ice cold beverages (again, cash only!).

AINT NO PARTY LIKE A GSORD DANCE PARTY!! Release yo' delf with Larry and DJ Bonzani on the 1's and 2's from 10pm-Midnight.

Artwork revealed by:
Justin Ensely
Isaiah Ronan and Morgan Joyce
Jolie D.
Tristian Miller
Eric Moss
Cheri Moser
Houston Patton
Louise Calhoun

SCHEDULE:
5-6pm: art opening/open skate
6-6:30pm: The Ravers vs. The Grungies
6:30-7:15pm: live music
7:15-8:30 pm: SAVED BY THE HELL
8:30-9:15PM: live music
9:15-10: live music
10-midnight: dancing!

Upcoming Events

 

June 11th, 2011

Gate City Roller Girls vs. U.R.G.E (away)

Greenville, South Carolina

Visit the Facebook Event for more information.

June 18th, 2011

Let the Beat Build! 

Doors @ 9
Glenwood Coffee and Books
1310 Glenwood Ave, GSO

$5 cover (addition donations welcome)... proceeds go to OPERATION XCEL (local nonprofit after-school/ summer program that assists youth with learning disabilities and general educational needs) and GREENSBORO ROLLER DERBY (your local neighborhood bad-asses)

18 and up...
valid I.D.s required

GREENSBORO ROLLER DERBY AND OPERATION XCEL TEAM UP TO PROMOTE EDUCATION AND COMMUNITY BUILDING! HELP US SUPPORT AND SPREAD THE WORD...
TELL A FRIEND OR 10!

N'DANGR SPECIES
ILLPO
VETERAN ASSASSINS
MC CATACLYSM
AMARIS
CUFF LINKS
...with DJ WES

DANCE PARTY IMMINENT!

Visit the Facebook Event for more information.
www.operationhomework.org
www.greensbororollerderby.com

June 26, 2011

Battleground Betties vs Mad Dollies

Skate South
208 W. Fairfield Rd.
High Point, NC

Doors @ 6:30pm
Bout @ 7pm

Buy tickets HERE!

See you on the flat track!

Upcoming Events

Greensboro Roller Derby Yard Sale

Saturday, May 21st, 2011
7am - 1pm

Guilford Dairy Skate Shop parking lot

1616 W. Lee St.

Greensboro, North Carolina

The lovely ladies of Greensboro Roller Derby are strapping on skates and hauling out this and that for a yard sale. Come out and support your favorite derby team (and the first and only team representing the Gate City). Take home Betty Rumble's leg warmers, East Pound-her Down's favorite coffee mug, Molly Flogger's retro chair, or General Sew's record collection. We'd love to see you!

**If you're interested in donating items, please contact Ann What?! at fundraising@greensbororoll

erderby.com.

RSVP to our Facebook Event
Check out Guilford Dairy Skate Shop

Greensboro Roller Derby Presents The Mad Dollies vs The Elm St Nightmares

Sunday, May 22nd, 2011

7pm - 10pm

Skate South

208 W Fairfield Rd

 High Point, NC

Come out and watch as Greensboro Roller Derby's zany, sassy, fierce Mad Dollies take on the cutthroat, chancy, formidable Elm St. Nightmares in the 2nd home team bout of the season. Cheer on your favorite team as they go head to head in a battle of speed, agility, strength, and charm in a fashion that only roller derby can achieve.

Doors- 6:30 pm
Bout- 7 pm

$10
$8 college students (w/ ID)
12 & under - free

A portion of the proceeds will go to The Red Cross for tornado relief in the southeast.

RSVP to our Facebook Event
For more info about the team and to buy tickets online visit www.greensbororollerderby.com.

The results are in: Battleground Betties win!

Thank you to everyone who came out for our first intraleague bout of the season, Bouquet of Bruises! We had a blast and we hope that you did, too! If you weren't able to make it out, though, here is the re-cap:

The score was neck and neck until the second half, but the Battleground Betties stepped up their game to make the final score 166 (Battleground Betties) to 107 (Elm Street Nightmares). Congratulations to the Battleground Betties!

             Most Valuable Players:
                Rae Diation #003 (Elm Street Nightmares)
                Pinky la Pain #9 (Battleground Betties)

Sponsors:

    Cycles de Oro (www.cyclesdeoro.com)

    Seven Sagas Tattoo (http://www.myspace.com/sevensagas)

                Lotus Center (336-235-2730)

                GIGIgraphics (www.GIGIgraphics.com)

            Half-time Entertainment:

                Thank you fresh meat! We love you!

            Special Thanks to:

                Betty Rumble
                Radar-Luv
                Beard and Mustache Club of NC
                Team Zebra
                Erin Hayes

                DJ Bonzani & WUAG

                Westerwood Tavern

                Mary Bilotta

Derby love,

Jess the Ripper

Bouquet of Bruises: Battleground Betties vs Elm Street Nightmares

This will be GSORD's first intraleague bout of the season! GSORD has split into 3 "home" teams within our league. Each team is made up of girls on the league who are active members. The 3 teams (Battleground Betties, Mad Dollies, and Elm St. Nightmares) are set to compete in an "intraleague tournament" that will run throughout the season (in the midst of the Gate City Roller Girls travel team games!) with a championship game at the end of the season. Not to mention whichever team wins gets a SWEET trophy made by our very own rollergirl, Goodie Two Bruise. So pick sides, create rivalries with your friends, do what you gotta do.. but these teams are OUT FOR BLOOD this season to claim the title of best home team! Check out each team's Facebook page!: Battleground Betties Mad Dollies Elm St. Nightmares A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the Tsunami relief via the Red Cross. At the after party (@ Westerwood Tavern), jello shots will be available for $1.50 with all profits being donated as well!!

Tickets can be purchased online here!

April 3rd, 2011

Adults $10
Kids $8
6 and under free!

Doors @ 6:30
Bout @ 7 

Skate South

208 W Fairfield Rd

High Point, NC

Derby love,

Jess the Ripper

Finnegan's Skate: Gate City Roller Girls vs. U.R.G.E.

The Gate City Roller Girls (GCRG) had their premiere interleague bout, Finnegan’s Skate, on March 6^th, 2011, against Upstate Roller Girl Evolution (U.R.G.E). U.R.G.E. is hard hitting team from South Carolina which was formed by Torch in 2008. Both teams put on an intense show of athleticism, keeping the fans on edge with the close score.

The last jam was crucial because the score was tied. Betty Rumble from GCRGs and Torch from U.R.G.E. were the final jammers, leaving both teams anxious to see who would break the tie. After waiting for a final ruling from the head referee, it was determined that the GCRGs won by 1 point, leaving the final score at 135 (GCRGs) to 134 (U.R.G.E.).

            Most Valuable Players:

    Betty Rumble #11 (GCRGs)

    Madam Melee #56 (U.R.G.E.)

Sponsors:

    Cycles de Oro (www.cyclesdeoro.com)

    Seven Sagas Tattoo (http://www.myspace.com/sevensagas)

                Lotus Center (336-235-2730)

                GIGIgraphics (www.GIGIgraphics.com)

            Half-time Entertainment:

                Walsh Kelley School of Irish Dancing (http://www.walshkelleyschool.com/)

            Special Thanks to:

                Miller Lightnin’
                Radar-Luv
                Beard and Mustache Club of NC
                Team Zebra
                Johanna Breed
                DJ katemoss
                Go Triad (http://gotriad.news-record.com/)
                Yes! Weekly (http://www.yesweekly.com/triad/)

 

 

Derby love, 

Jess the Ripper, Pomona Bomber and Brody Slaughterhouse