Tuesday, September 29, 2015

It's a Thriller double header!
Oct 3, 2015
Greensboro Counterstike vs Star City Roller Girls
The Smooth Criminals vs The PYTs
Yes, it's those notorious criminals vs those pretty young things. This should be interesting! 
Come sing one of your all time favorite songs Thriller, but in slightly different lyrics...

Thriller Lyrics. Oh, no! I mean...

Roller Derby Thriller Lyrics!

It’s close to bout time and something evil’s lurking on the track
Under the gym lights, you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to skate but terror takes the track before you get there
You start to freeze as blockers looks you right between the eyes
You’re recognized

‘Cause this is thriller derby night
And no one’s gonna save you from the blocker about to hit
You know it’s thriller derby night
You’re fighting for the jam, so just go get her
Derby tonight

You hear the whistle and realize there ain’t no turnin' back
You try to bust through the four beast blocker wall in front of you
You close your eyes and hope you end up on the other side
But all the while the other jammer’s skatin’ up behind
You better run

‘Cause this is thriller derby night
There ain’t no second chance against the blockers evil eyes
Girl, thriller derby night
You’re fighting for the jam, so just go get her
Derby tonight

Players stop brawling
And teams start to drink up their Gatorade
There’s no resisting the pitch a pony this time
Now it’s the end of half time

They’re out to get you; there’s blockers closing in on every side
They will hip check you unless you pass that pantie on your head
Now is the time to end this jam and score some points to win this
All through the bout keep pushin’ through those blockers til they fall
You’ll score the points

‘Cause this is thriller derby night
Your team can win this bout if you work together and you fight
Thriller derby night
You’re fighting for the jam so be that thriller killer jammer
Derby here tonight

‘Cause this is thriller derby night
Your team can win this bout if you work together and you fight
Thriller derby night
You’re fighting for the jam so be that thriller killer

I’m gonna derby tonight!

Monday, March 23, 2015

Five ways being a roller derby fan can improve your life

Did you know that there are scientists out there researching sports fans? Yeah. And they've actually found some ways that being a sports fan can contribute to good health. What?! Yeah. So it’s March, admit it, you've already broken your resolutions to be healthier this year at least 20 times. Let me help you with an easier way to health and happiness: just come watch some roller derby. 

1. Watching roller derby will increase your mental capacity.

If you’re already a fan of roller derby, congratulations! You’re obviously very smart. You've made good decisions in life. But being a roller derby fan can actually help keep your brain in shape. Watching sports forces your brain to process a lot of information very quickly. When you first watch roller derby you probably don’t realize everything that’s going on. Everything happens fast. You can blink and miss an incredible block that forces the jammer to cut the track and get a penalty or a jammer landing an apex jump to score four points and call it off (so no blinking allowed!). Watching roller derby is essentially a workout for your brain, and the longer you're a fan the more you’ll notice strategic blocks and know when the jammer needs to call it off. The more derby you watch the more interesting it becomes and the smarter you will be.

2. Watching roller derby can improve your sex life.

So we all know that physical activity promotes testosterone production, right? Well researchers have now found that even just the act of watching sports can also increase testosterone levels. Why is that good? Increased testosterone equals increased wanna-sex-you-up-ness. This goes for the boys and the girls. So come watch some roller derby and then go home and celebrate that win in the best way possible! I’m just trying to get you laid, Boo.

3. Watching roller derby decreases loneliness and depression.

Being a fan makes you part of a family. Probably a very weird and dysfunctional family but that’s okay! We are not meant to be alone but it’s way too easy to become isolated these days. I’m blaming you, internet! Shared love for a team bonds you together with tons of awesome people you wouldn't have otherwise met. Fans create a community which helps to fight away the blues.

4. Watching roller derby can help improve your relationship.

Yeah, we’re saving marriages here!! Okay, maybe not. But bringing your bae to watch roller derby can bring you closer together. Studies have shown that couples who watch sports together are more satisfied with their relationship. Sharing the trials and triumphs of your favorite team is great way to bond with your partner. And don’t forget about the sex. That’s not going to hurt your relationship either. So mark your calendars to make bout night date night. Trust me, your partner will thank you.

5. Watching roller derby will get you ready for bikini season.

Come to a bout and you’ll see all types of beautiful bodies kicking ass. We've got tall girls and short girls, skinny girls and curvy girls but they all have one thing in common. They’re strong, fearless women and that’s sexy as hell. There’s a lot of negative crap out there but we hope when you look at us you’ll be reminded that you’re gorgeous and powerful and sexy just how you are!

So do your body a favor, pick up a 2015 Season Pass or tickets to our season opener on March 28th and come watch us play! 

Monday, November 24, 2014

Happy Turkey Day!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! In honor of this gobble gobble holiday, we have put together some of our favorite.... turkeys from the fall season. Please vote for your favorite in the comments! We would love to hear from you! All images in this post are shot by our lovely sponsors Frayed Edge Concepts, LLC.

1. Turkey Sandwich

2. The Flying Turkey

3. The Singing Turkeys

4. Lowblocking Turkeys

5. The WTF Just Happened Turkey

6. The Kicking Turkey

7. The Turkey Punch

8. The Aggressive Turkey
9. Turkey Love

Monday, November 10, 2014

Thanksgiving Throwdown

Our THANKSGIVING THROWDOWN is happening on Saturday, Saturday, Saturday!  This double-header is your last chance to see roller derby in 2014, and it's sure to be a night you'll want to mention in your family holiday letter.  The Coliseum Pavilion doors will open at 5 to give you plenty of time to check out our Merch table and other vendors, grab a snack, and snag a great seat before team intros and the national anthem.  

At 6pm your magnificent Gate City All-Stars go up against the Little City Roller Girls who will be visiting our fair city all the way from Johnson City, Tennessee.  Gate City has had an incredible season, beating higher-ranked teams in the the last two bouts.  Come see whether they can lay the smack down yet again!

Then, at 7:30, our Greensboro Counterstrike will take on the G.I. Janes from Mount Holly, NC.  The Janes are a fairly new league, just formed last year.  As you know, Counterstrike is in its inaugural season.  These two new teams both want this win and they are well-matched.  Who will come out on top?

We support a local charity or non-profit at every bout.  This time a portion of our proceeds will go to Ruff Love Rescue, a non-profit no-kill dog rescue and foster care organization dedicated to the care of abused, neglected and abandoned dogs.  This weekend is your chance to support local roller derby AND local dogs in need, all while having fun with friends.  

Tickets at the door are $10 ($8 for military/senior/student, $5 for kids ages 8-12) but I know you're dying to buy your tickets RIGHT NOW.  And guess what!  You can do that and you'll even save some money!  We sell tickets online at brownpapertickets.com.  Or, if you're lucky enough to know a roller girl personally, she'll be happy to hook you up.

Here are a couple other exciting things: This bout will be the first ever for Daisy Chainsaw, #1953.  Look for her kickin' booty and takin' names in the Counterstrike v. G.I. Janes game!  And remember Johnny Appleseed, one of your favorite Battleground Betties?  The Throwdown will be her first bout with Counterstrike.  Don't miss her feisty hits!

Awwwww, guys.... you're going to miss us so much over the holidays!  You'll be so sad you might not even be able to enjoy your turkey and presents and family togetherness time.  So be sure to join us this weekend and get your fill of speedy, skillful, hard-hitting derby excitement.  It's all in the name of end-of-year joy.  See you Saturday!

Monday, October 20, 2014

Hot patootie, bless my soul! It's GSORD's fifth annual Halloween Doubleheader!

Oh, I just love success!
I said, hey listen to me.  Stay sane inside insanity THIS SATURDAY, October 25, as you scream and shiver for your local teams at our Halloween roller derby double feature!  In case you hadn't noticed, we've got the most titillating theme of all this year: The Rocky Horror Picture Show. And you know what that means: doing The Time Warp!  Start practicing now! 

Our first bout, starting at 6pm, will feature your Gate City All Stars fighting those beasts from the east, the Cape Fear Roller Girls.  You saw Gate City take down Charlotte last month- can they repeat the performance?

In our second bout, starting at 7:30pm, Greensboro Counterstrike goes up against the tough and tricky Carolina Bootleggers.  CounterStrike is hungry for their first win of the season- will this be it?

Don't worry, the games aren't going to be held at some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos.  We'll be at the Coliseum Pavilion. Doors open at 5, so come on down early to get a good seat and get pumped for a night of absolute pleasure family-friendly fun!  Get a trial run on that halloween getup you've been working on- we'll have costume contests for both kids and adults, with prizes for winners and candy for participants!

You can always buy tickets at the door, or you can save yourself a couple of bucks and get advance tickets online at brownpapertickets.com or from your favorite roller girl.  Stay up-to-date with all the bout day info by joining our handy-dandy facebook event.

This past weekend we also held a Rocky Horror Dance Party at Westerwood tavern.  Sass Squasher and Hitter Miss got into the spirit of the floor show with Flirtini's beeeeeeautiful red boa.  Because nothing subtly says Rocky Horror like a boa.

That's a nice look for you, Sass.
So fast she's even blurry when she's not skating.

The adorably sweet and innocent Johnny Applespeed won the costume contest at said dance party in her impeccable Janet costume.  Don't be fooled by the cuteness, though- she's a demon on the track!

See you Saturday! And remember...

Monday, October 6, 2014

Assessments results

The fresh meat group before assessments. Image by Melanie Bryan

Pre-assessment talk by head of training, Hooker
Yesterday we had our fresh meat assessments! We had seven girls go straight through and four more that we hope will pass their last phase in a couple of weeks. Assessments are a stressful time for new skaters. Keep in mind that many of these skaters have never done athletics at this level before. These skaters have been with us in GSORD since the middle of July, and in that time have practiced and perfected new skills that will put them on the track to becoming competitive derby players. For some skaters, this has been an easier journey (though never easy!) and for some, an almost insurmountable task. The skills they have had to learn range between standing on one foot to doing 25 laps around the track in 5 minutes and jumping over an object 6 inches in height (the dreaded red foam roller!). We have all seen them struggle, work incredibly hard, and shed many tears. We all know how it was like, and we have done our best to help them on their journey. We are honored to have such fighters join our league. If you are interested in joining our next group of fresh meat, please email membership@greensbororollerderby.com for more information. 

Height is a matter...
of perspectives!

J.B. Groans

This fresh meat cycle was a little different than previous ones. We had a male skater go through the entire fresh meat with us. He is one of our new referees, and in order to become one with the league and further his own skating skills, he decided to participate in the entire fresh meat training! This is quite unusual, but worked really well. He also passed assessments yesterday. Beyond skating with our regular fresh meat, he has also been attending special sessions with our current head referee, Freddy Mercury Poisoning, in order to learn the ref-side of things. We are happy to welcome J.B. Groans to our team of zebras! If you are interested in joining as a referee, you also need to contact the membership chair at the above email address. Refs can be male or female, over the age of 18 and does not have to pay dues! You are expected to come to practice and help out at scrimmages and bouts. 

Hailstorm Trooper

We also have three returning skaters! Johnny Applespeed, Crash Bandicutie and Daisy Chain-Saw have all returned to the league and we are very excited to have them back. We are hoping to see all three of them bouting with Greensboro Counterstrike in our November bout! However, this is not all! We have a transfer skater named Hailstorm Trooper who will also be skating with Greensboro Counterstrike! You will be able to see her in our Oct. 25th bout with #48 (we miss you A-Ha!). 

Speaking of the next bout….. It's astounding… Time is fleeting… Madness takes its toll... But listen closely... Not for very much longer... I've got to keep control. I remember doing the Time Warp. Drinking those moments when… the blackness would hit me…. And the void would be calling… Let's do the Time Warp again…. Let's do the Time Warp again!

On Oct. 25th we are putting on a Rocky Horror Picture Show themed bout! Check out the awesome poster made by Edward Fields! Come dressed in your finest Halloween/Rocky Horror costume and win some sweet prices! It will be at the Coliseum as usual, doors opening at 5. It is a double-header, with Gate City All-Stars playing the Cape Fear Roller Girls and Greensboro Counterstrike playing the Carolina Bootleggers.  Tickets are available at Brown Paper Tickets, from your favorite roller girls and at the door! We hope to see you there!

Sunday, September 21, 2014


Check out those graphics!
Our princess is in another Coliseum.  She's in the Pavilion, waiting for Greensboro Roller Derby's video games-themed DOUBLE HEADER this coming Saturday, September 27!

We'll have the Gate City All Stars battling the Charlotte Roller girls AND Greensboro Counterstrike taking on the Charlotte B-Dazzlers.  Will Charlotte or Greensboro come out on top?  It's a secret to everybody.

It's dangerous to go alone! Take this: our current Living Social deal, which gets you half-price tickets!  Hit up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-select-start and click here to get the deal.  You can also buy tickets online here.  It's super effective!

Bring your best Cosplay and enter our costume contest for the opportunity to win prizes!  Isn't this Saturday sounding funner and funner? What a horrible night to have a curse.

GSORD at City Market.  I am error.

Have you seen Greensboro Roller Derby out and about lately?  Did you enter our "Design a Roller Girl" coloring contest?  If so, you have another reason not to want to miss Saturday's festivities: We'll be announcing the winner.  A winner is you!

Doors open at 5pm on Saturday with the first whistle at 6.  Come early to get a good seat, and be sure to say "Hi!  I like shorts!" at the Center for Visual Artists' table and our Merch table.  As always, you can buy snacks and beverages (Grumble Grumble) to help you get comfortable while you watch the Sonic Booms.

Afterwards, come by Stumble Stilskins to buy drinks for the players, refs, and splines-reticulating NSOs. This is your opportunity to finally tell them "Conglaturation !!! You have completed a great game. And prooved the justice of our culture.  Now go and rest our heroes !"  And hey, even if you're a Charlotte fan, you're still welcome.  You gotta lot of guts acting like a friend but being a spy!

We're here to kick ass and chew bubblegum... And we're all out of bubblegum.
Game over, man.  Game over.

Monday, September 1, 2014

Fresh Meat Experiences

Parts of our current Fresh Meat Class. Top: Portia, Bobbijean, Front: Maya, Annie, Denise, Simone, John, Courtney.

For many skaters, the Fresh Meat program is a terrifying experience. Try-outs and that first day of practice are very much like that first day in High School. You are standing around with other freshies, feeling rather unsure of yourself, but having heard of it before, or read about it. You might know someone who has been there for a while, but since they are “upper classmen” you will not mingle with them for a while, and are left to try to find your own way in this crazy new world. The first week is always rough, filled with new people, new environments and sore brains (muscles, in derby). You wonder what the hell you have gotten yourself into, you feel confused, overwhelmed and those scary SATs (assessments) everyone is already talking about already thinking about and preparing for feel like an insurmountable, terrifying hurdle you will never be ready for. First week of derby feels almost exactly the same way, only you had to go to high school, you CHOSE derby. For some insane reason, you decided that voluntarily working yourself to death, smelling like a dead skunk and falling on your ass twenty times in a practice was a good idea. Many others will think you have lost your mind.

The thing is though, for those of us who have gone through fresh meat, it was one of the best decisions of our lives. Yes, it is smelly and incredibly difficult, but you make friendships to last you a lifetime and become stronger, physically and mentally and you learn to do things you never thought was possible. This week, to give you an insight into the world of fresh meat, we asked our current fresh meat class about their experiences. This is what they said:

Portia: I grew up spending my Friday night & Saturday nights at Rol-A-Rink in High Point. It’s where some of my favorite memories are just hanging out with friends, playing video game like frogger, donkey kong, pole position, drinking suicide drinks, grilled cheese sandwiches with a hershey’s bar melted in it, trying to get put in the penalty box so you could make out with boyfriend, staying up for the “all night skate”… Once I got to high school it wasn’t cool to go skating anymore, so I stored my skates in my old purple skates case loaded with 80’s hair band name in it. My skates come down very rarely for a kid’s skating birthday party and it always made me smile. Last year one of best friends tried out for the Charlotte Roller Girls team, I didn’t even know roller derby existed. Over the past year I cheered her on trying to make the team and kept up with her posts about it. She was having so much fun and making new friends, so I decided to swallow my fears and try out for the Greensboro Roller Derby. Fresh Meat try outs was a scary day full of doubts. I was really afraid I’d be the oldest one and make a fool out of myself. Turns out I wasn’t the only one that felt that way and there were others over 40 and 50 years old, Thank God! So I strap on my old skates, which by now are pushing 30 years themselves, and hit track. We’re asked to skate around and do little drills. I realize quickly this is nothing like skating at the Rol-A-Rink and how did I get so tired so fast? I can do most of what they’re asking, it’s not pretty, but I’m hanging in there. After we skate around and finish the drills we’re given the good news and the bad news. We passed!?! I’m nervous, happy and scared to death all at once. After fresh meat try outs I hung around to help with 2 scrimmage bouts. Wow! I can’t believe what I’m watching. I’m in a new world, I feel lost and excited at the same time. They look fierce and intimating! The longer I’m there the more comfortable I feel. All the girls are friendly, even the opposing teams are nice to each other. I’m in my 7th week now of fresh meats. I’m getting better and enjoying this new adventure. But my favorite thing about derby, is the new friends I’ve made that I probably would have never met!

Bobbijean: I had been watching Roller Derby for two years, and from the first time, I saw it, I knew it was something I wanted to do . . . I had to do. When my life took a dramatic scheduling change and time opened up and my husband and children cheered me on, I knew the time had arrived. When I showed up to try-outs I had only been on roller skates maybe 10 times before. I am not athletic or tough and tryouts alone nearly killed me. But I was committed. I am still committed. Once training started, I was sure I was going to die. One night I dry heaved for about 20 mins in the grass, only to get back in the warehouse to skate again and then run into the bathroom to actually vomit, then got back on the track. Did I mention I am not athletic or tough? I am really not. But I lay in bed at night and I dream about walking into the warehouse and them showing me a skill and when I try that skill, I am amazing. This dream keeps me coming back to training. I am sure that there is something out there that I will learn and it will click and I will be amazing. So far the closest I got was when we learned to “slalom.” I could feel my body click and find the rhythm needed to do this. It only took three tries and I had shaved off nearly a full second from my first time. I then ended my third and most glorious attempt with a failed plow stop and injured my tailbone. People outside Derby and outside my home are amazed when I tell them I am planning on going back once I heal. It’s hard for me to explain that at my age this is the first time I have spent quality time with my body. I don’t know my body. I don’t trust it and I don’t have any idea of what it is capable of. At first I wanted to do Derby because it looked amazing and I had such high esteem for the women I watched play it. I am still star struck, like a little girl, by all of them, even my friend who started playing last year. My reasons for wanting to play now are still those but all something different too. I want to play now because I like how I feel when I am doing it. I like the culture of body acceptance. I like these dates I go on with my stranger body, where we get to know each other for the first time. It’s hard! It’s so hard, like dry heave, vomit hard and everything I have ever done or tried to do has come easy to me, because I am outgoing, hardworking and friendly. The track doesn’t care how outgoing and friendly I am. It just wants me for my skills and my hard work. I respect that. I want to give the track that and the little girl in me still gets giddy when I think about being a teammate with all of these super stars.

Maya - Acceptance. That’s how I can describe GSORD. From the 1st day of freshmeat training they accept anyone straight, gay, white, black, purple, green, blue. That’s a plus because you can’t find that anywhere else. You get to meet people from all walks of life. It’s a great experience. I am still a beginner skater and fresh meat is 50% physical and 50% mental. Weaknesses I have are my backwards skating ability is nonexistent and my speed. What I can say is last fresh meat I couldn’t even do crossovers or any of the basic skills. Committing and working towards getting better and getting better at a skill is bitter sweet. It’s taken me a year of roll a bout and skate land trips and falling down. I never played a sport growing up, I was a theatre kid. You have coaches, vet skaters, others in fresh meat that push you to your abilities that make you a better skater and a better person. I’m currently in my second round of fresh meat and I won’t give up I love the sport and the people involved and still have so much to learn!! I like that its always changing it makes it fun and exciting. It helps you off the track as well I mean I have killer legs now and a nice bum. It’s also interesting to see how this sport is evolving and to be part of this is amazing. When I tell anyone I’m in fresh meat they will say oh so you are beating people up and it’s the exact opposite this sport is involving this not an act we are all athletes I mean there is so much necessary training to prepare you. I say we want you! If you’re looking to be a part of something that will change your life on and off the court to definitely come out. Everyone’s accepted and that’s pretty damn fantastic. I’ve pushed my body to breaking points. Derby effects the mind body and soul. I still have a long way to go as an athlete. Attitude is a key thing. In my first fresh meat class believe me if I say I can’t do the 27/5 I’m not going to get it. If I say I can’t learn to tomahawk stop or backwards crossover I will fall and that’s that. I’ve changed my attitude to I will learn this, I can do this

Denise - Me, being a Freshie has given me such positive experience carrying over to other parts of my life. For me it has come later in my life but most perfectly because I can be dedicated and focused! I skated back in the 70s and had a Dyno-Mite 8 track of Boston that I skated to in my garage! Cemented floor. Then it was roller disco! I always wanted to try derby. I love most about derby is the vets dedication to teach us something that we so admire. For me it's living a dream. And each member of the team is there to make you stronger! I'm still struggling getting a good plow stop. I love derby so much I would practice every day, I'd die but... Lol. Freshies need to condition our body like an athlete would which means on off days to workout doing something you like. I treadmill. For another person it could be yoga... But you can't take for granted the benefit of good health! I love that the vets push limits! They work my ass back in shape I haven't seen it in 20 years for real! I have total butt envy. On a more serious note I think it can empower young girls athletically! There are strong woman in derby! Thick strong women! I hope young girls are empowered by seeing strength in numbers of all sizes and ages. Derby has no limits other than what you place on it for yourself! I love it so much! I also know it has made me mentally stronger. It is a real adrenaline rush at times also! An amazing sport!