Tuesday, April 8, 2014


Snarl Jung

This upcoming weekend (12th) the Greensboro Roller Derby is proud to present a doubleheader bout! Our first bout will feature our All Stars against the Appalachian Roller Girls from Boone. This is the first time we are playing each other as WFTDA leagues, so it’s a BIG DEAL, so come out and support! In our second bout we will see The Elm Street Nightmares take on the Mad Dollies for the first time since the Championships last fall and the Dollies are eager for a re-match! The doors open at 4 and tickets are available at the door or at Stumble Stilskins, Seven Sagas Tattoos, and Cycles de Oro. Be sure to welcome back Snarl Jung #83 of the Mad Dollies, who is returning from maternity leave to play her first bout in quite a while! We are thrilled you are back Snarl!

You have previously met our Gate City All Stars, The Elm Street Nightmares and the Battleground Betties, and now it is finally time to introduce you to our Mad Dollies

Admiral Packbar
Grandmaster Bash

They are coached by Admiral Packbar (who you may have seen refereeing) and Grandmaster Bash (who also coaches the All Stars). This season they are leading fifteen fierce Mad Dollies:

A-Ha Gabor #48
Alexandroid #1011
Andraste #219
Betty Switch #90
Carnegie Brawl #33
C. Oswin #46
Crash Bandicutie #N64
Dawn Quixote #9K1
Ellie Mae Crammit #9021oh!
Flirtini #520
Hugs ‘n’ Hisses #H155
Jess the Ripper #666
Miss Shuggenah #59
Snarl Jung #83
Suture Fancy U81

A-Ha Gabor and Alexandroid

The captains for this season are Alexandroid and A-Ha Gabor. Here is a chance for you to get to know them a little better!

First up, Alexandroid:

Droid as described by A-Ha: Droid is an amazing leader with an extensive understanding of the game. She is wonderfully talented, has the very best attitude, and is tough as leather!
Your goals for your team this season: I told my Dollies that if we win the Lockard-Lugin Leg Lamp, I'll do a whiskey slap at the afterparty and I haven't drank in over a decade so the leg lamp is obviously always a goal but really I just want to continue to develop our players and make sure we have fun playing the sport we love.

Favorite move on skates: Can opener. Well, I should probably specify a *legal* can opener.
Best derby memory: Any time I got to skate with Helluva Hooker.
Worst derby memory: Losing my spot on the roster for the Gate City vs Appalachian bout because I broke my leg in the scrimmage the week before. I heard it break but tried to convince my captain, AlaBAMison, that is wasn't broken by walking on it. Thankfully, she didn't buy it.
Best advice for new skaters: Jess the Ripper gave me the best advice and it's this: Just stay on the track. It doesn't matter if you're the slowest skater out there, just stay on the track and don't give up, never give up, never sit out.

And A-Ha Gabor!:

A-Ha Gabor
A-Ha as described by Droid: A-Ha is one of my favorite people to play with, managing to balance passion with calculating strategy. She has no off switch, no dimmer. She broke her foot mid-bout last season and continued to play, mostly jam, holding nothing back for the rest of the game, never once even mentioning that her foot hurt. She also fought sea monster and won and then punched a yeti.
Your goals for your team this season: To be the smartest, hard hitting-est, most fun team in the league
Favorite move on skates: Waitressing 
Best derby memory: Skating every practice with such incredible women.
Worst derby memory: Those jams when I go out and over think everything...that never ends up well.
Best advice for new skaters: Work hard, don't ever give up, and always remember that it's fun.

If two bouts are not enough for you, be sure to pick up a season pass at the bout to get access to the Sunday VIP bout! As mentioned before, these are only open to season pass holders, and you will be able to also witness the second Betties vs. Nightmares bout of the season! Come out this weekend and support all your skaters, we love all of our fans!

Monday, March 17, 2014

Meet the Nightmares and their Frightening Captains

Woah!  Our first home team bout of 2014 is LESS THAN A WEEK AWAY!

I know you've been waiting all winter for another chance to watch the Nightmares take the track.  Will their seemingly endless winning streak finally come to a close?  Or will they come out the victors once again?

The Nightmares will be mixing it up a little this season with a new coach,
Sass Squasher- you may recognize him as Butternut Squasher's biggest fan.  For this bout Sass will be joined by one of our recently retired Nightmares, Brody Slaughterhouse.

Your scary, scary Nightmare Captains for 2014 are Whip-O-SnapHer and Emma Ture.  Let's have a little chat with them, shall we?

First up is Whip-O-SnapHer!
Your goals for your team this season: To continue to play better as a team.  To work on bridging effectively and keeping a calm focused energy when we play!
Favorite move on skates: Juking. I still have lots of room for improvement in this.
Best derby memory:  (I have two) Winning MVP in my first ESN bout. Also becoming a poster child for GSORD with Ellie Mae Crammit.
Worst derby Memory: Every time I let my team down when I go to the penalty box.

Best advice for new skaters: Learn what derby low is and keep you back straighter and work on your core strength.
Whip-O as described by Emma: "Whip-O is the one you will always catch with a smile on her face. She truly loves the sport of roller derby. She has the type of hardworking, positive attitude that is infectious to those around her. I can always count on her to push harder and give it everything she has got. Not only that but, she is a down to earth person that you can be comfortable coming to if you ever needed help with something."

And now, Emma Ture:
Your goals for your team this season: I would like to see us form a cohesive team bond and have that transfer to our game-play on the track. The better a team knows one another the better the communication and teamwork will be. Also, I would like to see us step up our defensive game—strong walls, hard hits, recycling, the works!
Favorite move on skates: I love it when you line the hit up on a player just right and WHAM!, you have hit her down and out of bounds.
Best derby memory: Winning the home team championship game last season along with my fellow Nightmares.
Worst derby memory: Anytime that I go to the box; I feel helpless just sitting there watching, unable to help my team.
Best advice for new skaters: Practice, Practice, Practice. Be determined and try not to let the little things get to you; it is through failure that we learn.

Emma as described by Whip-O: "My Co-captain Emma Ture is a great leader. She is smart, organized, positive, dedicated, hard working, a great teacher, and a skater that works hard to improve her game. She is also always willing to share her knowledge with other skaters."

Check out all the amazing players who will be Nightmaring on March 22:

Annie Lastwords #321
Buster Licious #212
Butternut Squasher #2
Crash Bandicutie #N64
Emma Ture #3
Frosty Snowmean #413
Hitter Miss #26
Ninja Turfle #77
Pants #508
PepperSpray Pattie #18
Queen LaCheetah #123
ShropDead #1134
Suture Fancy #U81
Thoreau HerDown #3P0
Whip O SnapHer #99

Don't miss this mess!  See you at the Greensboro Coliseum Pavilion on Saturday!

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Meet the Betties and their Mighty Captains

Have you heard about the best thing happening all March?  
That's right, it's our first intramural bout of 2014!  

With a roster full of amazing players and expert coaching from Helluva Hooker and Alkilloids, the Battleground Betties are definitely contenders to be reckoned with. Come out to the Pavilion on March 22nd and see whether the Betties can knock those wily Nightmares off their undefeated-in-2013 perch!

A new season means new team captains, and the Betties will be led into battle by two fearsome freedom fighters: Glitt-R-Done and Ka$h Honey.  And hey!  Guess what!  This very blog post is your chance to get to know them.  

Here's a little about Capt. Glitt-R:
Glitt-R as described by Ka$h: "Oh how can I briefly describe an athlete as fabulous as Glittr?....
G- is for Generous
L- is for Levelheaded
I- is for Inspirational
T- is for Tough
T- is for Trustworthy
R- is for Rare 
If you are in the same room/track as Glittr you will probably receive at least 1 of 3 things from her…
1) a personal gift
2) Confidence to achieve
3) a smile on yo face!
She is the living proof that “All that Glitters is Gold” –wouldn’t want to captain with anyone else!"
Your goals for your team this season: To win the Championship for 3rd time and get that Lockard-Lugin Leg Lamp Trophy back! #2014YrOfTheBetties
Favorite move on skates: I like to twirl around like a ballerina as Ka$h circles me. Future "Wheelz of Glory" stars.
Best derby memory: My parents wearing their custom made Betties tees at my first bout that had "Daddy GLITT-R 53" & "Momma GLITT-R 63" on the back of their shirts!
Worst derby memory: Injuring my MCL and not skating for a year.
Best advice for new skaters: Never Give Up. Whether it be the 27:5, the killer practices in the hot summer, a knee injury or whatever, just don't give up on yourself b/c GSORD will always believe in you, if you believe in yourself.

And here's Capt. Ka$h!
Ka$h as described by Glitt-R: Ka$h is like the perfect Betties mascot b/c of her awesome and infectious spirit that helps encourage our skaters to be the best they can be. She never gives up on winning and never gives up on her teammates. She is a talented and smart skater and is always being a leader on and off the track. I feel lucky to be her co-captain!
Your goals for your team this season: 1 goal and 1 goal only my friend… to put that Lockard-Lugin Leg Lamp Trophy BACK in the Battleground Betties house!
Favorite move on skates:  Knocking down an opposing blocker who knocked out my jammer. –they don’t see it coming and it makes you feel a stronger connection to your jammer… brutal sweet sisterhood!
Best Derby Memory:  Hearing Molly Flogger say over a loud speaker “and THAT is what roller derby is all about!” My first bout – Ravers vs Grungies – of course I was on team Ravers *insert sweet techno music * and of course I was late – I skated into the sweaty sardine packed warehouse with a few odds stacked against me- I didn’t know  hardly any rules – I was late – and it was my 1st roller derby bout... but I forgot about the fact that I had a broken shoulder socket and skated like a hyperactive monkey on wheels – as I was jamming I came around the apex and was heading straight into a 4 wall of opposing players – attempting to not bowl over 8 skaters I ate concrete instead. I fell out of bounds around the apex and dislocated my broken shoulder – but I was so scared and full of adrenaline I flopped on the ground like a fish having a seizure and popped it back in. My adrenaline was too high to feel pain –so I kept jamming as I passed through the pack I heard Molly announce over the loud speaker “and THAT is what roller derby is all about!  I finished the bout and won MVP!
Worst Roller Derby memory:  My last bout before my shoulder surgery -  Emma-ture knocked me down and out as I was jamming and I dislocated my shoulder. The only major difference to this dislocation is that I had my shoulder taped in a new way and I couldn’t pop it back in so the adrenaline wore off quick and it was painfully stuck out of the socket –I just remember thinking “what am I doing to my body…I am tearing it apart, literally”
Best advice for new skaters is:  know when to stop asking for so much advice. Every skater will tell you a different way, form, mental strategy for doing things. I know I’ve asked for advice a million times and the best thing you can do is to stop thinking, asking, talking about it and start SKATING! I promise you can figure it out.

Wanna know exactly who you'll get to see keeping the peace on the 22nd?  I thought you might.  Here's the Betties' roster:

Glitt-R-Done #5363
Ka$h Honey #919
Awesome Sauce #24oz
General Sew #404
Johnny Applespeed #753
Mauly Ringwald #16
Moloko Violet #23
Moonfight Sonata #272
Schoolya Childs #450
Sigourney Cleaver #1013
Wrecking Belle #028
Hugs 'n' Hisses #H155
Andraste #219

Stay tuned for a post about the 2014 Nightmare captains and their lineup!  See you on March 22!