Friday, December 9, 2011

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Fishnets

So I am writing, yet again, about the depths into which roller derby has strengthened my soul. I usually focus on the athletic aspect, because that is what roller derby is: a sport. But, for now, I want to focus on the other aspect of roller derby that I currently completely depend on for survival: the sisterhood.
Full disclosure, I am going through a break up. It sucks. Super hard.

Break ups are the absolute worst. They crush your spirit. Drain your resources. Make you question things about yourself you never would have before…maybe even things you previously liked about yourself (example: my former ability to take pride in knowing all of the Teen Moms' names).

I am eating like crap and drinking like a fish. On the occasion, I cry at Hallmark commercials (but, to be honest, I did that before). I completely rely on my dog for daily emotional support and I have a regular seat at my favorite local bar (Westerwood, what what!). I don’t sleep much. Though that may be in part because I am really intrigued by the Real Housewives marathon Bravo keeps pumping out (are there different casts, or do they all just have the same plastic surgeon? Good lord ladies!).

Side note: I am in no condition to feel your “damn! She watches a lot of reality TV” judgment. Capiche?

When you feel alone and confused you need a friend. But I've got a league, a tribe, a die-hard to-the-end sisterhood watching my back. Not a day has gone by since my break up where someone from Greensboro Roller Derby hasn’t done something to make this pain more tolerable. Most of the time, they didn’t even know they were giving me that push to just get though the day. A phone call here, a beer shared there; the little things that make you know YOU WILL SURVIVE THIS HEARTACHE. You will get out of bed. You will brush your teeth. You will not stalk his Facebook.

My sisters in roller derby are my rocks, my sheroes, and my confidantes. You know that old saying, “your true friend will help you hide the body”? Try having an entire league of true friends. Not even CSI: Miami could solve that murder! (I told you-I watch a lot of bad TV. It helps!)

Another side note: I am in no way planning to murder anyone.

Roller derby practice helps redirect the pain of a break up in away no amount of Lifetime movies ever could. In roller derby, you are going to fall. A lot. If you don’t fall, you aren’t trying very hard. You are just coasting. This applies to real life. My motto, in life and in derby, is GET BACK UP. I can get back up because I have sisters. I have people to help me stand up when getting up is too hard to do alone. I will fall, because I don’t coast. But I will always, always GET BACK UP.

Yes, this is really my leg. The handwriting is Shrimp n' Grit's, the tattoo is by Paula Enscore.

I will get through this break up. But I could not do it without my derby sisters. I could not do it without my skates. I could not do it without our sisterhood. I need my league now like I never have before. And my league has not let me down.

To my sisters of Greensboro Roller Derby, and the derby community at large: this wears-her-heart-on-her-sleeve skater SALUTES YOU for getting her to the other side. You know what side I am talking about, ladies. We have all been there. And thanks to the bond that is roller derby, we don’t have to do this thing alone.

Humblest thanks,
Miller Lightnin’

PS: A special shout out to Pickle Joose, Schoolya Childs, and Shrimp n’ Grit. You ladies are my heart.

1 comment:

  1. Hey, stumbled upon your post while researching derby tattoos. Very nicely written, and I love the idea that if you're not falling, you're just coasting and not trying very hard. I had an awful practice a few nights ago, in which I was on the floor more than I was upright, and the doubts came creeping in. I needed this reminder. Thank you.

    P.S. I love the tattoo.
    P.P.S. Hope your broken heart mends extra soon.