Monday, January 13, 2014

Triple Baby Shower!

Our baby decor fit in so well at McCoul's.
They should probably have left it up for other customers to enjoy.
The GSORD family will growing by six tiny feet this year, as three (3!) of our players are expecting their first babies within the next few months.  The league held a baby shower for the moms- and dads-to-be this weekend at McCoul's Public House.  (Pssssst!  McCoul's is one of our sponsors!  You should drop for a tasty meal and/or drink!)

 
Admiral Packbar and Miss Shugganah, Alkilloids and Pinky la Pain, and Snarl Jung and Oscar.  


Aren't they the cutest?  Most of us had to find roller derby for ourselves.  These lucky babies are about to be born into the awesomeness.  Next time you see ladies at a bout, take a second to say congratulations and good luck!
The lovely Mamas (photo by Ellie Mae Crammit)

Thursday, January 9, 2014

First practice of 2014

Suture Fancy, Wrecking Belle, Hitter Miss, and LeChuck
Happy New Year from Greensboro Roller Derby!

We held our first practice of the year a couple of nights ago, despite sub-freezing temperatures in our unheated warehouse.  It was a great practice!  Highlights included a slogging (slow jogging) warmup, a bunch of footwork drills on and off skates, and a quad-burning performance of 100 squats.  At the end of the night, we practiced weaving around cones and did a quick 27-in-Five.

27-in-Five (also written 27/5) means skating 27 laps around the flat track in five minutes.  It's on the list of WFTDA's minimum skills requirements, which, if you're interested, you can peruse here.  Each year, all our skaters have to (get to?) demonstrate their ability to perform these skills, and we're preparing to do just that later this month.  For most of us, maintaining the endurance required for 27/5 is the Everest of minimum skills, so wish us luck and speed as we keep practicing over the next couple of weeks!

Schoolya Childs and Frosty Snowmean


C. Oswin and Johnny Applespeed 

Home sweet warehome!



Friday, February 8, 2013

A Derby Girl's Vow


I will admit: I have not been the best girlfriend. I have forgotten birthdays, missed important events, said nasty things I can not take back. I have written rude emails, asked too many questions, and tested trust. I have rolled my eyes, taken things for granted, and made impossible demands. I have not shown up, made threats to leave, been too arrogant, too unforgiving, too harsh. 
But they always take me back.
My derby league has never faltered, never pushed me away, and has always had an open door for me to walk through-sometimes with my tail between my skates. My league has held me close, overlooked my flaws, and supported my growth as a person. My league does not love me because it is easy-they love me all the time for exactly who I am. 
Miller Lightnin' with 2012 Nightmare cocaptian, Emma Ture
Photo by Frayed Edge Concepts

I do not know what other people's experiences are with their derby leagues. But I do know my own has been an adventure full of love, frustration, joy, and heartbreak. Teammates have moved, or quit, or gotten hurt. Promises have been broken, people we love have been laid to rest. There has been triumph too - mended hearts, wedding bells, healed bones. There has been no plan we have not had to adjust, or rule we have not had to break. Somehow, though, we always stick together through everything even when we can not always stick around. 
So, with all things there can be a new promise, a fresh start, a fresh commitment. This season I vow to be the best girlfriend to my league that I can be. I want to be honest and steadfast, a role model for new teammates, a constant for old. I want to show up, show strong, show no mercy (well, on the track...). I want to be humble and strong, wise and kind, loyal and true. I want to be to help my league grow, and I want to grow myself. I want to be grateful for the love this league gives so easily. This will be a challenge, one that I know my league mates will take with me. 
Somehow I know, that even if I fail, they will still be beside me. 

In love and derby,
Miller Lightnin' 

Friday, October 12, 2012

I am Greensboro Roller Derby.


I am Greensboro Roller Derby. 

I am an athlete.
I am a warrior.
I am smart.
I am really, really strong.
My beauty is measured by how I treat others.
Therefore, I am beautiful.

I am Greensboro Roller Derby.

I am one person, a part of something bigger than myself. 
I am a teammate you can rely on.
I matter to my team.
My team needs me and I need my team. 
I learn from my mistakes.
When I fall, I get back up.

I am Greensboro Roller Derby.

I contribute to my league.
My ideas make my league better.
My presence makes my league stronger.
I listen to and learn from my teammates.
Others learn from me.

I matter to my league.

There is only one me.
There is only one Greensboro Roller Derby.
Together we make this community the mighty force that it is.
Together, we can do anything. 

I am green and gold.
I am black and red.
I am teal and yellow.
I bleed red and blue. 

I AM GREENSBORO ROLLER DERBY. 


Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Let's settle this.


So, lately I feel as though I have been bombarded with derby conflict. Maybe I feel this way because I am on a temporary derby sabbatical, or maybe it is because the sport I love is changing at such a rapid pace I feel as though I am watching sand run through an hourglass. I love roller derby and have dedicated a good chunk of my life to the sport. I want it to change people's lives the way it did mine and for it to have a lasting impact on how the world thinks sports should be played and organized. Therefor, there are a few things I wish we could all quit yappin' about so that we can re-focus on what is actually important: the unification of women with different backgrounds, cultures, countries, bodies, strengths, religions, sexualities, ethnicities, ideals, and beliefs. Here are a few things I would not mind never “debating” again:

  1. The pivot line. Don't like scrum starts? Don't do them. Think they are effective? Keep em up. Either way, this nostalgic view people seem to believe in about the pivot line is a little silly. It is like when people say the “good old days” forgetting that they are referring to a time when black and white people could not go to school together. The pivot line was not the “good old days” ladies, it was a few years ago and it is still there. If you like it, learn to be an awesome pivot and incorporate it into your plays with your line up. Otherwise, learn to find the hilarious joy in squatting in front of someone on their knees.
  2. Lazy train. If you don't like the lazy train, keep your jammer out of the box. Done. 
  3. Men's roller derby. Hard to sum up in one paragraph, but I will try. The only thing that annoys me about this topic is that there is a debate on what to call it. Merby? Dangle derby? Cue the eye roll. They don't call woman’s basketball “wobasketball” or “ovary ball”. The call it “woman’s basketball” (the fact that sports that women and men both play are assumed to be male is another reason why we need to refocus the goal of roller derby). If men want to lace up and get out there and play derby, have at it boys. Just call it what it is: “Men's Roller Derby.” We were here first and it shows respect. If you are still not sold on men's roller derby, go see a Gatekeepers (St. Lois) bout. They had me at the first whistle.
  4. Skaters transferring to another league (particularly Oly). Are these skaters on your bench? Do they pay league dues to your league? Do you know them personally? Know their skating history? Have you had a conversation with them? Do you always harshly judge people's actions based on something you only know about because of a Facebook post? Then move on and let the ladies skate where they want. People said less harsh things about Lebron.  
  5. Derby names. Some leagues like to use government names, other leagues stick with the tradition of using derby names. One is not better than the other, or more “legitimate.” My birth name is Susan but everyone calls me Susie-and no one questions it. Lets do the same for leagues choices about what they call themselves. This also applies to debates about league uniforms vs all other derby wear. Don't tell a woman what to wear, she has enough people doing that already and if what other people are wearing bothers you or affects how you see them-why are you wasting time with derby when you could be working with Rush Limbaugh? ZING!
  6. Olympics/Being “taken seriously”/Being on ESPN/etc. There is nothing I could say to wrap this up in a cute little paragraph package, so I will say this: our sport is new and unique and defies gender norms so it scares the crap out of people. We fascinate spectators, the media, other athletes-but we rarely take time to pat ourselves on our back and say “job well done.” Instead of worrying about being apart of everyone else's world, lets fall back in love with the one we created. 

So that is it! My rant for the month. Re-focus your energy on bettering yourself as a woman and as a skater. Both will make your world a better place. And in closing, let me leave you with the wise words of Tina Fey: “When faced with sexism...ask yourself, 'Is this person between me and what I want to do?' If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way.”

See you dingos soon.

Love, Miller 

Friday, August 3, 2012

VIVA LA ROLLER DERBY REVOLUTION


When people ask me why I love roller derby so much, I usually tell them something about how awesome the sport is. That answer is true, so very true, but I also love this sport with my full heart because to me roller derby is a revolution that set me free...

Every time a woman moves her body, some man somewhere thinks it is for him.

I am SICK OF IT. 

I hang out with really beautiful women. Women who train hawks, ladies who get full scholarships to law school, and women who can wrangle four kids' schedules without breaking a sweat. 

When I skate in a pack with my league mates, no matter what my day has been like, I feel safe. I am free. Not only am I flying on my eight wheels, but I am surrounded by people who know what it is like to run to your car from the grocery store. Who know what it is like to obsess in the mirror over every inch, every curve, every piece of skin. Who know what it is like to be treated like a child, to be paid less, to be told that your interests just are not as important as men's. My league mates know what it is like to have to defend themselves from someone who does not think “no” means stop, they know what it is like to have to work extra hard for less respect, they know what it is like to pick up a sports magazine and not see their half of the population represented. They know what it is like to be giddy about watching the Olympics, only to be crushed when the female athletes' hair and weight get more attention than their talent. My league mates know what it feels like to have your body picked apart by a society that does not represent you. My league mates know what it feels like to hear those awful words “you asked for it.” They know what it is like to flip through a magazine, one that is directed at them, and close it feeling like they will never live up to what is expected of them. 

The shared experience of being a woman is not one that men can empathize with. You can not know what we feel or what we can handle because if we told you the WHOLE TRUTH you would think we were lying. Being a woman is really, really, really hard. (And it is also the best thing in the world.)

We are sick and tired of having to follow society's rules of how we should act and how we should look. 

So instead, we strapped on some skates and we made our own rules and we started to fall in love with ourselves. 

Roller derby brings women together by allowing us to reveal the most hidden version of ourselves. It lets you hit, scream, compete, and push yourself to be a mighty warrior. Strapping on skates is like releasing a volcano of awesome into your own world, and you get to do it alongside other women who “get it.” 

Until a woman president.
Until rape does not exist.
Until female athletes are treated with respect.
Until our paychecks are equal.
Until our decisions about our bodies are our own.
Until we can all get married.
Until there is no “ideal” body.
WE WILL ROLL ON FOR US ALL. 

The revolution is calling. You gonna answer?!

Love, Miller Lightnin' 

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Roller Derby: It Does a Body Good


A few days ago, one of my derby sisters invited me to an event. It was a virtual event called I LOVE (all of) MY BODY! and I was so inspired by the stories posted there that I wanted to share more of my own story.


Joining roller derby two years ago did wonderful things for my life, but I have to say one the very best ways it improved my life was by changing my relationship with my body and improving my body image. I remember going to derby for the very first time and being awe struck at all the gorgeous, powerful women I was skating with. I am still awe struck by the beauty and power of every single person I skate with. Reading that they had insecurities made it easier to talk about and confront my own.  It also made me realize how important it is to be able to talk about these issues.  

My entire life, I have had serious body image issues and I have struggled with eating disorders since I was 13. By age 17, I was so severely anorexic that I could barely function and spent much of my time in the doctor's office and the hospital. At the time, I seriously thought dying was a better option than gaining weight. It was the darkest period of my life, and though I recovered enough to go to college, I struggled with eating disorders all through college as well. I saw my body as a constant improvement project and there was always some body or facial feature that needed to be improved upon. I was never really comfortable in my own skin. I was athletic, I ran marathons and half marathons, but the primary motivation behind running was weight loss, not becoming healthier or a better athlete. 

Fast forward to age 24. I am done with college, I have my first "real world" full-time job and I am still struggling with eating disorders off and on. I hear about roller derby on facebook, and decide to go to a practice that night. I was hooked instantly. For the first few weeks, I thought about how playing roller derby would be a great way to lose some weight. False! I watched the scale creep up more and more the longer I played. But for the first time in my life, I was starting to be ok with that. It was, and is, amazing to watch and play with gorgeous women of all shapes and sizes who are all so very talented and strong. I watched my body grow as I gained muscle and power, and I was excited to think that maybe I was starting to look as amazing as all my friends on the track looked. 

I still have some body image issues, but ever since I started playing roller derby, I have grown so much emotionally and physically. I've gained 20 pounds in the two years I have been playing, but I see those pounds as sources of power and muscle. It feels amazing for weight gain to be a good thing. It feels amazing to have a rear end and some serious leg muscles. It feels amazing to skate around the track and to be able to hit and block effectively because I am strong. It feels amazing to feel sexy and powerful not because I have reached some ideal weight or because I have "fixed" some part of my body, but because I am physically strong and healthy. It feels amazing to challenge myself mentally and physically. I am more determined, more motivated and much, much happier since joining GSORD. 

It's hard to talk about body image issues because society sets up an impossible standard of beauty and then mocks those who go to any length to attain that image. It's embarrassing to talk about eating disorders and all the ways in which we would like to change our bodies in order to look better. As hard as it is to talk about, it is important that we do so that we stop wasting so much time hating ourselves. One of my biggest regrets about my eating disorders and body insecurity is all the time and opportunity wasted. I spent so much time counting calories and working out to be rail thin that it consumed my life. I didn't go to the beach or the lake or the pool with my friends because I was terrified of wearing a bathing suit. I ruined my health and did some irreversible damage to my body. The stomach acid ruined my teeth and it has set me back thousands of dollars to fix them. I never thought I was good enough to be treated well in relationships. I don't ever want to feel that way again, and I don't want anyone to ever feel that way! 

Here is the lesson in all of this: Let's all engage in the very brave, very feminist, very empowering acts of loving our bodies instead of hating them. Let's let derby build us up, physically and emotionally. Let's talk about this stuff that is so very hard to talk about. Let's be grateful for the bodies that we have and the fact that we are physically able to play roller derby. Let's keep being real with each other.  Let's keep encouraging each other and reminding each other how amazing we are, because it is true. Ladies and gentlemen of Greensboro Roller Derby, you are beautiful and and amazing and inspiring. 


MY NAME IS PINKY LA PAIN AND I LOVE GREENSBORO ROLLER DERBY!!!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

How To Care, But Not Too Much


“Y'all, let's just play some derby. And then afterwards, we can all hug!” -Brody Slaughterhouse 

Is winning the most important part of derby? What happens when it becomes the top priority?

Guilty, by the way. Yes, me. Totally, one hundred percent guilty. I am one of those aggressive, full out, smack talkin', ride-or-die roller derby girls that embarrasses her mother. I have thrown my helmet, yelled at refs, growled at my competition. Sometimes, when I lead practice I wear a t-shirt (that I made) that says: “Nut up or Shut Up” (technically, it says “Zut up or Shut up” because I ran out of “N” letters). 

I really, really like to win. Sometimes, I lay awake at night dreaming of what it must have felt like to win the derby world cup. I also wonder how that skater from New Zealand, responsible for the one point they scored against Team America, must have felt (I hope she goes to bed at night knowing she is a hero to all us underdogs). 

Before a bout, I have to actively turn off my bull dog attitude. I have to physically and mentally prepare for a bout by changing who I naturally am. I have to do this, because I am a captain. I also have to do this because my attitude tends to go over the line of “caring” to “caring too much”, and I wasn't a very good teammate to be around when things weren't going our way. 

The words of wisdom at the beginning of this post were brought to you by my teammate Brody Slaughterhouse, spoken when we were losing our fourth bout in a row by over sixty points. Our home team, the Elm St. Nightmares, went from 0/4 to being the team to beat over the course of one season. I am immensely proud of my team, but I take no credit for the change in our dynamic that lead us to our first victory. All the hard work of creating a positive atmosphere on our bench is my teammates doing, as is evidenced by Brody's words. 

I will never not care, that is impossible. But, I no longer play angry, or blame others for a loss, or only enjoy a bout because the score was in our favor. To me, a true athlete is humble, always learning, and doesn't have to yell to express passion*-you can see it by their actions on the track.

Not sure how to go from caring too much to just flat our caring? Here is what I have picked up over the last three years of being teammates with a wide range of women:

  1. If you expect other people to do things the way you would do them, you will constantly be disappointed. (Thank you, Ann What?!)
  2. Learn to lose nobly, or stop playing sports.
  3. Nobody cares that someone elbowed you. Shut up about it.
  4. Playing roller derby mad is a free pass to the penalty box. If you play mad, or hit someone for revenge, you are not playing very well and you look like a jerk.
  5. Keep getting the same penalty? Whose fault is that, really? 
  6. Humble yourself to the rules of the game. You know less than the refs. 
  7. A hit is not personal. You learned this the first day. So, stop taking hits personally.
  8. That girl you are yapping about who backed blocked you? She is your derby sister, possibly even a good friend. Stop talking about your friend. 
  9. Don't be that skater that yells ref calls. Just don't be. 
  10. Women don't thrive on criticism, but we can take it. Know where the line is, and do not cross it.
  11. If you have given a teammate advice, and she did not take it well, stop giving that teammate advice. 
  12. The only person in charge of your actions is yourself. This is an extreme amount of power for one person to have. Use it. 
  13. Stop waiting for help. Grown women know how to help themselves. Help yourself. 
  14. Learn to take a hit like a woman, and learn to hit like a woman. 
  15. GET BACK UP.  

So, these words are simple. So very simple. But for some reason, they took me two and half years to follow. Join me, in my quest to be a better skater and person. Because basically, that is the same thing.

In love and derby,

Miller Lightnin' 

*When people make comments about women athletes and say negative, insulting words about them or call their behavior unsportsmanlike, I think that is sexist. Men are allowed so much room to act like animals when playing sports, so I think the same courtesy should be extended to women. Caring about winning is not limited to the male gender. I also think that people see aggression as negative in women because it goes against gender norms. We are already breaking gender norms playing sports, so when we aren't all cutesy and sweet about it we are only confirming that you can't keep us in a box forever and we really are shifting the paradigm of who is IN CHARGE. So, although I think that there is a line between “caring” and “caring too much”, I think the line is subjective and completely open to interpretation. I also would like to re-iterate that roller derby is one of the best and boldest feminist statements a woman can make. BE LOUD AND PROUD. 

Monday, June 11, 2012

Play Like A Girl- A Treatise on Female Athletics


“Look at that, workin’ for free. You gotta admire that.” -Hank Hill

Each camping trip my family took in my youth was planned around the Carolina Tar Heel's basketball team's schedule; or, more accurately, the men's team. My parents drank cheap beer and yelled at the screen, clearly aware of secret plays and the name and background of each pro-ball hopeful. But we never, ever watched women's ball. Or any women's sports for that matter.

I have been to several pro-football games. (Don't get too jealous, they were Carolina Panther games.) I have seen the Charlotte Bobcats, cheered on the Carolina Hurricanes, and I've even yelled from the nose bleed section of a Greensboro Gators game. As a kid, my favorite pastime was going to see the Greensboro Bats. It was the one night when I could run around with a few bucks in my pocket and buy any treat I wanted, as long as I took my little brother. Now, as an adult, my friends and I regularly meet up at Greensboro Grasshoppers games. One of my favorite sporting events ever was a race at Bristol, where I managed to carry in two cases of Budweiser, thus gaining the friendship of every race fan in passing distance. But for all the hundreds of sporting events to which I have borne witness, the only female sporting events I have attended have been my own.

Pat Moss, rally car driver and awesome lady
When I was growing up, I dabbled in soccer. My most clear and vivid childhood moment, the moment that made me know the world was full of surprises, was a movie-worthy state championship that my preppy, undisciplined, 0/10 record of a soccer team won. My team, the Soccer Rockers, got to the state championship by sheer luck. All the games had been rained out and we just happened to win the coin toss that determined who advanced from our region to the finals. This made our team the lowest ranked, by a huge margin, going up against girls who actually wanted to play college soccer. (We were 12 years old, by the way, but some of these girls already knew they were going for soccer scholarships.) On the day of the first game, we all piled into our two coaches vans. Only a few parents came along, as we were sure to lose and the games were out of town. You know the rest. We won the first game, then we tied the second. The reason why we tied the second game was because I scored my first (and only) goal. The third game we played against the highest ranking team in the state. We beat them by one point. By the third game, not only were all of our parents in the audience, all of our teachers were too. And our siblings, neighbors, and classmates. We got to be heroes, Rudys, Rockys... just for that one day. This soccer championship was a turning point in my life. It took an additional 15 years for me to embrace it, but this was the moment I became an athlete.
Lisa Leslie of the WNBA
There is something so honorable and heroic about training and competing in sports. Maybe I feel this way because I am an athlete, and we all crave purpose in our lives. Or maybe I feel this way because it’s one of the only places where people of different skin colors, religions, sexualities, and traditions can play as one; equals on the track, or court, or field. Maybe that childhood victory has stuck with me. (I know it did, and it will forever.) But to become well-versed in a sport, you must discipline yourself and train for years, possibly not even seeing appreciable results from one birthday to the next. You must work with other people, and be told what to do by other people. You must be humble, and loyal, and you must listen to other people's voices and bodies. To be someone's teammate is a bond. Together you work for a common goal, much like the quest in every great fantasy novel. So, why does the world* act like only men accomplish and excel at such a noble feat? Why are even the most feminist of men often blind to how wrongly women athletes are dismissed? When did we decide that being an athlete worth watching means being a man, and that it’s worth a ridiculous (and, I think, dishonorable) amount of money? Why don't you go to female sporting events, or watch them, or support them?

All of this ranting leads me to my final point:

The most honorable of athletes play for the love of the game, not a paycheck. Women athletes may be overlooked by most of the world, and treated as less than by their fellow male athletes, but this only makes us stronger and more noble. Because we truly do it for ourselves.

Venus and Serena, of course
 To all of my fellow female athletes: I salute you. And to my fellow roller derby sisters, see you on the flat track. I look forward to beating you, or losing to you by the sweat of my teeth, like any strong woman would. We, and our fellow women athletes in all different sports, are part of something so much bigger than ourselves. We are paving the way for all the girls that come after us, making the world a place where they to can achieve their dreams, whether their dreams involve sports or something else we’re told women can’t be as good at as men. Being a female athlete is a bold, feminist statement--a platform to set fire to all the injustices in the entire world.

In love and derby (and equality),

Miller Lightnin'

*If you feel as though my point is invalid, please do your research. Compare the number of male Olympic sports versus women's. Then also read the Olympic gender policy (it is horrifying). Look at the “Sports Movie” options on your Netflix queue, or pick up a copy of Sports Illustrated. How many women can you find? (Swimsuit issue doesn’t count and in fact backs up my point.) When you say you are “watching the game”, does it go without saying you are watching a men's game? Does your city have a professional women's baseball team? Compare the salary of a pro softball player to a pro baseball player. Look up Title 9, then go on a college campus and observe how absolutely none of the schools in North Carolina abide by the Civil Rights amendment. None of them. Ask yourself, how much does a pro-football player make? Can you think of anything a woman could do to make that amount of money in sport? How many female race car drivers can you name? Now, how many can you name that are not forced to use their sexuality to get a sponsor? Sigh. If you still think that women and men have equality in sports, I beg you to prove it to me.



Friday, May 4, 2012

Ode to Smackson Pollock


The family of Greensboro Roller Derby continues to expand, which sometimes means our skaters must head off to other places and spread their awesomeness elsewhere. This hurts me in my heartal area, but I get comfort knowing some of the best people in the universe are out there, reppin' hard in other places.

Smackson Pollock-- formerly MSG, a beautiful Bettie and a Gate City all-star-- is leaving us for the coast. We will miss her. I will miss her. So I wrote her this poem. Please enjoy.

For Smackson

Smackson, Smackson
How I love thee
In my heart, you have always been MSG
Your muscles so ripped
Your booty so big
So pretty and girly, yet you eat like pig
Your laugh is infectious
And your hugs so sincere
Always the last one to wash your smelly gear
Your hits are the worst, but my favorite to get
Getting a hip check from you is truly the pits
I love how we hit each other the entire jam
Or how we help each other achieve a grand slam
Going against you or with you is always so fun
Cause I know we will giggle with each other when the clock says its done
There is something so special about you that I wish I could capture
An afterparty with you is always a delightful disaster
You really are one of the best girls I will ever meet
My favorite to lose to, and my favorite to beat

Smackson Pollock, you are a wonderful and unique woman that makes the world a better place. I will miss your laugh, hugs, and your wonderful approach to life. Hitting you and being hit by you is one of the reasons I love roller derby so much.

Keep being you.

XOXO Miller Lightnin'