Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts

Thursday, July 28, 2011

I may vomit on the rink, and other worries.

Full disclosure. I am partially crazy. But if you play on my roller derby team, you already know that and kind of love me for it. Especially if you are a Nightmare. I have a tendency to get super nuts when something awesome is about to happen to me. Hot guy leaning in for a kiss? Mini throw up in my mouth. Headed to Carowinds? How bout I get in a wreck halfway there out of sheer nervousness! First roller derby bout? Sorry guys, can't make it. I am full on freakin'.

Okay, so most of that stuff hasn't really happened. Okay...all of it has...but I did actually attend, play in, and not die at my first roller derby bout. The following is how I think I managed to survive.

  1. Have a scary person on your team slap you in the face (I prefer Flogger, Wifey (Schoolya), or Emma Ture). Steal my go to slap people and you are Dead To Me.
  2. Know the rules. This seems simple, right? But it isn't. There are so many GD rules in roller derby it can literally make your head spin. Don't worry about it too hard though. No matter how hard you study, you can never prepare for your first major...which leads me to my next point...
  3. Be nice to the refs. The NFL's refs are paid. Kind of a lot, when you think about it. But their job is f'in hard. They tell guys like Michael Vick they did Something Wrong. Uh, I don't want to do that. But our refs are volunteers. VOLUNTEERS. In theory, they are keeping us safe. So be nice to them from the start. Let the fans yell at them...and then buy each ref a beer afterward. Also, don't act superior to them because they are dressed like Zebras.
  4. The night before the bout try to get some damn sleep. You won't, but at least try. Maybe even work on those “visualizing” techniques people keep talking about. Scientists said they work!
  5. Eat food that doesn't come in a bag. Have a nice salad, maybe some grilled chicken even. Ask the vegans on your team what they are eating, cause God knows they eat better than your carnivore ass. But don't eat fast food. (Shush haters! Do as I say not as I do.)
  6. Find the other crazies on the team. I won't call anyone out (*cough*Ripper*cough*), but I am not the only one who gets bananas on derby day. It is just in our blood to FREAK. You know how misery loves company? So do freak outers. Find your fellow freak outers so you don't feel judged (and to clarify, no one is actually judging you...there are two kinds of people...people who can't contain they are nervous and people who hide it very, very well). Dammit people with low blood pressure! Quit showing off how relaxed you are!
  7. Have a super rad outfit. This helps, a lot. The hotter you look the less likely they are to institutionalize you, because it isn't 1952 anymore. Also, I feel more confident when I like what I am wearing. Take your time making sure everything fits and moves well with your body shape and that your number is clearly tacked on. There is no bigger buzz kill than getting a penalty for your number falling off. I am talking straight up Buzz Kill.
  8. Drink lots of water. Signed, Captain Obvious
  9. Pretend like you are really involved with the National Anthem, because that happens directly before Your First Roller Derby Bout Starts. I mean, listen and all (AMERICA RULES!), but take deep breaths and realize the person singing is just as nervous as you are. There is some kind of comfort in that. (Am I sick?!)
  10. Hug your friends on the other team. Make sure to do this at half time as well. As Ari says, Hug It Out. I hate Entourage, by the way, but love that advice.
  11. Say hi to your parents, family, friends, co-workers, and strangers you invited to the bout. They came because you asked them to. Make it worth it for them, especially because your mom is more nervous than you are. She birthed you and you are about to play a contact sport On Skates in front of her. Plus, where the hell did that unicorn tattoo come from?!
  12. Okay...so your first jam. Don't worry about it. It is like being in a Pokemon cartoon your first jam...WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! How did I get here?! Why is that zebra yelling at me?! But GOOD NEWS PEOPLE! New Jam! There is always a NEW JAM. This applies to everything in your life. There is always, always, always a new jam. And sometimes (nods to Moloko) you gotta call off the jam.
  13. Pretend your 12 year old self (eye patch and all...yes, jerk faces I work a damn eye patch!) is in the audience watching this bout. She thinks you are f*cking AWESOME! Smile at your invisible twelve year old self and pat yourself on your disgustingly sweaty back, 'cause face it dude-YOU ARE AWESOME.
  14. After about your third jam you are probably starting to realize how awesome roller derby is. How all that hard work has finally paid off. Did I mention you were a rock star? Not to brag or anything, but I got MVP my first bout. I accepted my award after I vomited outside the emergency exit.

So, here it is guys. My first bout advice. I am like Buddha right? Buddha who has no ability to write a proper paper.

Just a side note-the nervousness never goes away. But when the hot guy/girl leans in for a kiss...Kiss their sexy ass right back!

XOXO

Miller Lightnin'  

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Eight...Nine....Ten Glasses a Day

Hey Ya'll

Staying properly hydrated is important for everyone, but because athletes are particularly prone to dehydration, I thought it would be important to share some tips on staying hydrated. Not only is staying hydrated important for your overall health (water flushes out toxins and carries nutrients to cells as well as performs several other vital tasks) but according to a source on the runner’s world website dehydration can significantly lower an athlete's performance. It is recommended by the Institute of Medicine that women drink approximately 2.2 liters (9 cups) and that men drink 3 liters (13 cups) (there was not explanation for the gender difference).

*If you are exercising it is likely that you should consume more water, and the American Council on Fitness had suggested that those doing moderate to high intensity work outs should drink:

 17-20 ounces of water 2/3 hours before you start exercising
  8 ounces of water 20/30 minutes before exercise
  7/10 ounces of water for every 10/20 minutes of exercise
  8 more ounces of water 30 minutes after exercise

Tips on Staying Hydrated:

            *Keep a reusable water bottle with you, this will encourage you to drink water through out the day. If you purchase a plastic water bottle try to buy one that is BPA free.
            *Add a slice of lemon or lime to flavor water naturally
            *Try to create a schedule to help getting in the habit of drinking more water.
            *To keep your water cold try filling it up half way, freezing it, and then toping it of with water (cooler drinks also help keep body temperatures down).
            *Alcohol and caffeine are both linked to an increase of fluid loss, if you are planning to exercise the morning after consuming either of these, remember to drink plenty of water before your exercise routine.



Derby Love,
Pomona Bomber


Sunday, March 20, 2011

Everything I ever really needed to know, I've learned in six weeks of Fresh Meat derby practices

From the outside, derby looks like fun. And it is, but it's much more than that. It's also a test of character, a source of sisterhood, and a trial of determination. I've only been Fresh Meat for six weeks, but the connections I've made with my fellow Freshies are already strong and satisfying. We've learned and grown so much in a very small amount of time. Here are just a few of the things I've learned in my short tenure as a fledgling derby player.

Use your voice, as loudly as necessary. Derby is a cooperative sport. A bunch of uncoordinated skaters will create a chaos that the opposing team can just avoid to win. But a team that communicates on the track can formulate and execute a strategy together. Strategy, along with strong skating, wins bouts. But for strategy to be possible, each skater must find her voice, and make it heard.
When you're skating in close quarters with others, it's important to let them know where you are. Shouts of "Inside!" or "Outside!" let skaters ahead of you know you're coming up. Then they can accommodate you by making a space in the pack for you to get through safely. For skaters like me who were previously more comfortable in the library than the rink, this can be challenging. My first shouts during practice were more like squeaks--and the huge, juicy mouthguard in the way didn't help. I'm pretty sure nobody could hear me above the sound of a hundred wheels scraping the hardwood. So when one of our amazing trainers called for me to yell louder, it was hard. I think it was hard for some of the other Freshies as well. Many of us have been raised to be "nice girls" and not yell at others. But in derby, you've got to make your voice project if you want to be heard. That means yelling.

Being encouraged to shout translates into a handy dandy life lesson, too. For those of us who would be content to fade into the background and not rock the boat, derby can be an exercise in advocating for yourself. First, exactly what is it that you need? Identifying your needs is the first step in getting them met. How do you need others to accommodate you so you can get what you need? As independent as we would like to imagine we are, we can't always meet our needs all by ourselves. Sometimes we need to work with other people to get our needs met and function within a group. Once you identify your needs, figure out what you can do alone and what you need to ask for from others. And finally, perhaps the most important question: how do you expect others to know what you need unless you tell them? There's no such thing as ESP. People can't read minds. So speak up, and speak as loudly as you need to. Let people know where you're coming from, and then you can accommodate each other. Like the bumper sticker says: "Speak your mind, even if your voice trembles." Finding your voice is an essential skill in derby, as in life.

Listen at least as much as you talk. This is the flipside of the previous lesson. Yes, advocating for yourself is very important. But so is listening to others as they advocate for themselves. There's more than one reason our helmets don't cover our ears.

We've already established the importance of communication on the track. But shouting is only one half of the communication equation. If you shout out your position and your needs, but consistently ignore the needs of other skaters and bowl right over them, your team can't execute its strategy effectively. You're also liable to get a reputation as a derby diva. (Not that my team has any of these! We are all wonderful, thoughtful skaters.) A successful strategy needs each skater to listen for the communications of the other skaters, and do what needs to be done. In practice, we're told to look over our shoulders to see who is coming up, and listen for their position so we can accommodate them as they skate through the pack.

Again, this translates readily from derby to life. Imagine using all your nerve to raise your voice and ask for your needs to be met, only to be ignored. How would that make you feel? Pretty lousy, most likely. This is the Golden Rule of derby and life. If you want to be heard, listen. This is why you have two ears and only one mouth. So, listen to your teammates, in life and in derby. Help them achieve their goals, and they will help you achieve yours.

Of course, listening doesn't obligate you to always say yes, and others are not obligated to always say yes to you. But that's okay. Healthy relationships involve people who aren't afraid to make their needs known and help others meet their needs. But sometimes negotiation needs to happen to make sure everyone's boundaries are respected.

It's okay to let people help you when you're down. As a mother, I'm accustomed to being the one who wipes away tears and fixes up the boo-boos. When I decided to give derby a try, I wasn't prepared for the humbling experience of letting others take care of me.

At my last practice, I began my sprint from the starting position of the Devil's Mattress drill to find that my knee felt like someone was stabbing it with an ice pick. I supported myself on the other leg and used the gimpy one to lamely propel myself over to a toadstool. I sat down and removed my knee pad to check things out. (I'm not sure what I thought I would be able to see from the outside, but the move made sense at the time.) Everyone else was sweating their way through the drill and I didn't want to interrupt them, but I wasn't sure what had happened to my knee. Since I'm the biggest girl in the Fresh Meat crew and was probably the least fit when we started, no one is surprised when I have to sit out for a minute to catch my breath. So no one knew I was injured, and I didn't tell anyone. Quite frankly, I was embarrassed. I hadn't even fallen.

After a few minutes, one of our trainers must have noticed that I was looking pastier than usual. She skated over and asked if I was okay. "My knee," I answered, and she swooped in to get me fixed up. She removed my skates and fetched some ice. By that time, the drill was over and my teammates were skating over to join us on the toadstools. As they realized I was hurt, each one leapt into action. One offered me Ibuprofen. Another used an Ace bandage to attach the ice bag to my knee. One simply sat beside me with her arm around me. Even amongst all that derby love, I felt like a big baby who hurt her widdle knee and had to stop skating. Our trainer spoke gently and reassured me that everyone has moments like these.

Their kindnesses overwhelmed me. I lost my cool and started to cry, which just made me feel like even more of a baby. I am accustomed to being the servant, not the served. It seems counterintuitive, but it can be an exercise in humility to accept help from others. Being in the position of the helper is actually a powerful position. It's active, where being helped is passive. For those of us who prefer activity to passivity (and I'd wager that's most of us who gravitate towards derby) accepting help can be a tough pill to swallow. But since I know that if one of my teammates were down I would be thrilled to do anything to help her, I know that it gave my teammates and trainers a sense of satisfaction to have helped me.

(The knee problem, by the way, turned out to be Iliotibial Band Syndrome, an overuse injury often experienced by long-distance runners that can be aggravated by uneven training, such as skating counter-clockwise most of the time. It's easily fixed with certain stretches combined with rest, ice, and elevation. But for someone who has always been overweight and was pretty sedentary for much of my life, having an overuse injury is a certain kind of awesome. And that brings me to my final, and perhaps most important lesson.)

You're capable of things you now think are out of reach. If anyone had told me even a few short months ago that I would be joining a roller derby team, I would have laughed and called them crazy. I've always loved the sport of roller derby as a spectator, but considered actually playing it out of reach for me. I figured I was too fat and uncoordinated for derby. As a kid, I was the one who did everything she could to get out of P.E. If I had to play, I stayed far enough away from the action to never risk having to participate. I sacrificed myself early on in every dodgeball game so I could sit out. I always wished I had the confidence to participate in a sport. But a lifetime of body shame is a powerful deterrent. It creates a vicious cycle: avoiding physical activity with the excuse "I'm not fit enough to play sports" guarantees that you won't ever get fit enough to play sports.

So, two months ago when I saw that Greensboro Roller Derby was holding tryouts, at first I didn't think I would be able to participate. But I really wanted to participate in this exciting new league. I had been to their bouts, and the GSORD energy was tangible and tantalizing. When would I have another chance to be a part of something like this? So I decided to at least go to the information session, and perhaps just offer my services as a volunteer for the league.

At the information session, each prospective derby girl received a handout. Inside the handout was the Greensboro Roller Derby mission statement:

"Greensboro Roller Derby is an all-female, skater owned and operated, Flat Track Derby league that fosters sportswomanship, athleticism, and teamwork. We do not discriminate against race, religion, sexual orientation, or body type. Greensboro Roller Derby strives to make a positive impact on its members, the surrounding community, and the sport of roller derby. Greensboro Roller Derby does not endeavor to be a profit making organization, and hence will work to give any net profit back to the community via donations to charities and non-profit organizations."

Wait, what? Did I read that correctly? "We do not discriminate against... body type." There it is again! I had to read it several times for it to sink in. Maybe it wasn't so out of reach for me after all? I decided to come back for the boot camp. After boot camp, I felt invincible. Sore, but invincible. So I decided to come back for tryouts. And just like that, I became Fresh Meat.

Now, I'm not "there" yet. I still need to pass assessments, and a home team has to want me as a player enough to draft me. I don't know how long that will take--I might end up repeating the Fresh Meat process, maybe more than once--but I am determined. I'm going to do this. And this newfound determination has me wondering: what else could I do if I only knew I could do it? Could I get that PhD I've always pined for but thought I wasn't really "PhD material"? I didn't think I was derby material, either. But I'm proving that wrong, slowly but surely. That's why this is the biggest lesson I'm learning from derby: our potential is much, MUCH greater than we sometimes think it is. If you think you can't do it, then you won't even try. Don't knock yourself out of the running before you even enter the race. Try the things you want to try. You never know what you're capable of until you do.

Derby love,
Pwn of Arc