Derby Crushes

Just in time for Greensboro Roller Derby's Lonely Hearts club bout... we're going to talk about DERBY CRUSHES!

When you skate derby, you hear it all the time...”I have such a crush on [insert awesome skater's name here]!" The awesome skater could be Bonnie Thunders, Suzy Hotrod, Kelley Young, Beyonslay, Smack Daddy... the list goes on and on. These girls ARE amazing, and I wouldn't kick any of 'em outta my... bench.

But lovin' the stars is a given. They set the bar, rock the house, blow our minds with their phenomenal talent. I get that. Sometimes, I watch YouTube clips of Bonnie Thunders for hours and take notes. Her moves make me have to wipe drool off my chin. I danced in my apartment for ten minutes when she requested my friendship on Facebook (stalkin' paid off!). To me, she is Michael Jordan, Michael Phelps, Venus AND Serena Williams. She is the best of the best of the best sport.

But when I thought about what a derby crush really is, I realized I have derby crushes on girls I skate with every single day, women I play against during inter-league bouts, girls I regularly whiskey slap. I am so lucky that I am surrounded by skaters who challenge me, frustrate me, and cause me internal injuries.

I posed this question to my league crushes and also asked my fellow league mates to spill their secret: who makes your heart leap on the flat track?

The answers made me fall in love with my league all over again. It was like that dream trip in Paris with your partner that you already love, that reminds you while you fell for them in the first place.

Although I am not going to reveal everything I learned about who crushes on who in our league (since some of it was told to me in confidence), I do recommend sharing with your crush your feelings. They will make her day and make her a better skater. She won't wanna let you down!

Here are a few of my own derby crushes:

To start, I have a confession. I love a truck drivin', foul mouthed shorty named Ka$h Honey. She busted into our league like a bat outta hell, and went from “Fresh Meat” to starting jammer in T minus ten seconds. My crush started when she first made the team, when I first heard her tell me what to do. I loved her confidence, her take-no-crap attitude, her hatred of slow derby. Ever since then, she has sealed my love for her by continuing to play by the same motto as I do: “GO BIG OR GO HOME”.

Ka$h Honey

Like many girls on the league, I have a crush on General Sew for more than just her skating ability. But, it is her skating that makes my heart leap (and those red sequin shorts). I love watching her lap other skaters, seeing her go so fast the wind blows through the back of her jersey. I love how humble she is, how calm, how she can turn literally ANYTHING into derby shorts. General Sew is the glue that holds our league together, the voice that makes us know everything will be okay-unless, of course, she is coming for yah hips.

General Sew

Sigh. AlaBAMison. Our very own home town version of Bonnie Thunders. BAM is one of those skaters that earned her stay, played for keeps, fought her way to the top, made people notice that SHE WAS HERE. BAM is a crush of mine because you think you got her- oh, you think you got her so hard, and then: BAM, she is already through the pack, smilin' that she just tricked you (again). BAM skates so effortlessly, so fearlessly, and still manages to stay classy and adorable at the same time. She is a rarity. She is GSORD.

AlaBAMison

One of the things that makes me LOVE local derby crushes is that you get to ask them questions like: What makes you so awesome? So, in an effort to “humanize” my derby heartthrobs, here are their actual answers, after much prying:

“Cus I got Skills, Thrills and Dolla Bills! Sike just playin – I’m awesome because I push myself - sometimes it can be my downfall because I push too far but I love motivating people and how can I help my team push to be better if I don’t better myself.” -Ka$H Honey (derby crush: Minimum Bruise)

“Well thanks for thinking so, but often times I am pretty hard on myself...The one awesome thing that derby has taught me though is that if someone tells you can't or shouldn't do something then prove them wrong.  Who says you can't play roller derby? Who says you can't pass assessments after skating for only two months or that you can't be on the A-team?  Who says you can't skate in a bout, and then compete in a sprint triathlon the next day after driving four hours and getting three hours of sleep? Which by the way is a really bad idea!! You can do anything you set your mind and heart to. You can amaze yourself with what you can accomplish if your really believe you can do it.  If you want something bad enough you'll do what it takes to get to your goal.” -AlaBAMison (derby crush: Betty Rumble)

“I got to this level of skating from a combination of hard work, cross training, and genetics, and dumb luck. I was a skating rink rat in the late 70's and early 80's. My parents dated at the skating rink, and I spent a lot of time skating. Although I took speed skating lessons when I was 7 and artistic skating when I was 8, I was never really good at it, but it did give me a sense of comfort with having skates on my feet (and I'm pretty good at Galaga from all that time spent at the skating rink too!) I'm doing some running and I teach yoga, and I try to stay active, and make it to almost every single practice, but I'd better kick it up a couple of notches because there are some awesome and ambitious folks out there. My biggest piece of advice for other skaters out there is to come to practice (as often as possible), give it 100% all the time, and pair up with the biggest, hardest hitting girl out there. Watch how they move their feet, watch where their strength comes from when they hit, and watch how they absorb or counter a hit. Also, read those rules. To me, they're like poetry, and they make more sense, once I've got some personal application for them.” -General Sew (derby crushes: Molly Flogger, Schoolya Childs, Smackson Pollock, Pickle Joose, Ka$h Honey, AlaBAMison, Minimum Bruise, Snarl Young, and Miller Lightnin' [thanks General!])

So you see, derby crushes can be the very same women you see everyday. They are your resources for improvement. That extra push when you think you can't push anymore.

So go ahead ladies, tell your crush why you love her. You never know...she might just feel the same way.

In love and derby always,

Miller Lightnin'

PS: Because GSORD fans love to think we hate each other, I did not mention my favorite person to hit and be hit by: Smackson Pollock-you complete me.

Men's Roller Derby: Oh My!

I am so excited that men's roller derby leagues are becoming a conversation in the world of derby. The more people that play roller derby, the better. I truly believe in roller derby world domination, and that the benefits of playing the sport can positively influence all people.

Full disclosure, though: men's roller derby brings out the skeptical feminist in me. I am slightly wary of a potential take over. Roller derby was male-dominated at times during its long history, but the modern incarnation of it has been all about female empowerment. Roller derby is the one place in my life where I am not treated as a second class citizen because of my gender. Roller derby empowers my female force, has increased my sisterhood, and has freed me from the burden of self-body hatred.

When roller derby began in the 20s, it was played by men. Female skaters were added to the sport later as a way to sell tickets. No one could have guessed then how roller derby would evolve into the feminist movement it is today.

Modern roller derby is not just a sport, it is a feminist movement.

I need the men who are creating leagues for themselves to say that out loud. To believe it. Do they truly know the world they are entering? Are they entering it with the full knowledge of their male privilege? Do they know that to women who skate, this means a whole lot more than just hitting one another and wearing cute outfits?

Are these male leagues prepared to embrace and make room in the sport for male-to-female transgender skaters? Do they truly know what a sport created for, by, and with all women means to us? As women?

I say yes. But then again, I am a hopeful, trusting, heart on her sleeve feminist who truly wants a massive social change in terms of gender and sexuality equality. This is what I bleed for.

I am in full support of men's roller derby leagues, and look forward to witnessing my first male derby bout in the upcoming season. All I ask is for these leagues to mention the elephant in the room-the big, giant feminist elephant in the room that is just double checking your intentions.

Sorry guys, thousands of years of sexism and lack of equal treatment will do that to people.

Lookin' forward to seeing you on the flat track, gentlemen.

XOXO

Miller Lightnin'  

New Year, More Derby

Ah, the New Year.  A time to reflect on the previous one and plan or make resolutions for the new one.  I myself don't like to look back too much.  I like to be in the now.  However, I'm proud when I look back at 2011 and see how far I've come as a skater.  The fact that I even refer to myself as a "skater" is a big accomplishment in itself.  I'm able to say that I'm much more confident with wheels strapped to my feet.

I'm not big on resolutions, either.  I feel like it's too easy to dump on yourself and give up if you have a slip up.  Not only that, but I prefer to keep the momentum going in the areas I've improved on in the last year and make them even better.  Setting new goals for myself is something I do throughout the year, so I don't feel the need to make them a resolution.  This year, though, I've decided that I will have a theme: Make it happen.  BAM!  Pretty simple, huh?  Well, not really.  They're definitely not magic words, though, I wish they were.  This outlook couldn't come at a better time as our fresh meat assessments are zooming towards us.  So, at the end of this month, I'm going to make it happen.  I want to pass these assessments, so that's exactly what I'm going to do.  There is no debating with myself, no excuses, no "well, I guess I'll see how it goes."  MAKE. IT. HAPPEN.  Once I do that, I'll set the next goal and same thing; make it happen.  See the pattern? 

So what does that require?  Well, obviously, I have to practice as often as possible.  I need to fine tune the skills I find more difficult and make better the skills I can do more easily.  I want to execute them with confidence and better than just enough to pass.  Truthfully, it will probably take longer than the time I have before assessments and I hope I'm never as good as I can get.  I want to always seek to improve my skills.  I think everyone should want that.

The trick for me is the mental blockages.  I do it to myself every time.  Things I know how to do, I will some how mess up because I am being watched.  I guess it's like stage fright.  I know I can do it but because people are paying attention to me doing it, I start second guessing myself.  It's silly, I know, but I can't help it.  In my journey to make it happen, I have to do what it takes to achieve my goals, even if it's completely against my nature.

This is how I'm going to approach all of my goals in every aspect of my life.  I hope everyone has a year full of goals achieved, dreams realized, and most of all, more derby!  Make it happen, friends.

Derby <3
Katie Overstreet

Meet the Team: The Battleground Betties!

As Greensboro Roller Derby's inaugural season draws to a close, it's time for the final installment of Meet The Team! Earlier in the season, we introduced you to The Mad Dollies and The Elm Street Nightmares. As the season's championship bout approaches, we're proud to present the team that completes the Triad's favorite triad: The Battleground Betties!

The Battleground Betties are calm, cool, and collected in the face of chaos. Their minds are sharp and their bodies are strong. The Betties join a proud tradition of firebrand women throughout history. The qualities that made these women strong live on in the Betties: the irreverence and skill of Annie Oakley, the craftiness and allegiance of Betsy Ross, the bravery and sense of adventure of Sacajawea, the moral compass of Sojourner Truth and Susan B Anthony. The Betties are best described by their manifesto:

Heads high. Shoulders back. No retreat, no surrender. Raise our shields and face the storm. Rise above the noise and skate with honor. Bring to the track only valor, courage, commitment and strength. Leave behind anger, grief, and self-doubt. Stand in solidarity with our soldier sisters. Every day, in every way, the Battleground Betties are keeping the peace.

Some facts about the individual Betties:

• Schoolya Child: Team captain of the Betties, Schoolya is a skilled derby strategist. Her ability to identify the patterns of play lends itself to successful battle planning. On the track, Schoolya jams and blocks fiercely and with finesse.
• General Sew: Schoolya's co-captain and a quick-witted derby tactician, General Sew is both a crafty jammer and spicy blocker. As if all that weren't enough, her brutal hits have been known to make opponents wet their DerbySkinz.
• Smackson Pollock: This top-notch jammer splatters her opponents in the process artfully dodging them. Smackson's eye for detail and nimble footwork propel her through the pack to victory.
• Pinky la Pain: A tiny terror on the track, Pinky la Pain's nimbleness keeps the opposition guessing. Pinky may be small, but she brings a queen-sized dose of pain.
• Foxy News: With hard-hitting blocks and decisive cuts, Foxy News performs with journalistic integrity. This just in: Foxy News makes other teams' jammers say "no comment."
• Lita Revolution: With the voice of the people cheering her on, Lita's shoulder of justice rises up to depose the opposing jammer. Viva la revolucion!
• Electric Cher: Do you believe in life after a hit from Electric Cher? Elegant and elusive, this statuesque all-around player  makes opponents wish they could turn back time. 
• Ka$h Honey: Think you've got the lead jammer market cornered? If you're going up against Ka$h Honey, think again. Ka$h rules everything around the track.
• Awesome Sauce: You won't want to marinate in the pain Awesome will give you. She spends her time on the track knocking jammers out of bounds like it ain't no thang. This sauce is the boss.
• Lotta Moxie: This spunky siren will put you on the floor with her hellacious hip checks. Lotta's ample supply of moxie fuels her tenacious jamming, too.
• Minimum Bruise: When Mini blocks, the bruises you'll end up with are anything but minimum, and her jamming is a study in stealth. Like a charged particle, she delivers a nasty shock as she zaps through the pack.
• St. Knives: This born blocker is "the patron saint of your mom." She's watching over you, and she will not hesitate to cut you.
• Glitt-R-Done: If her sparkling smile doesn't knock you out first, one hit from Glitt-R-Done is all it will take. When you wake up in traction, take a look at what's left of your body. Is that a bruise in the shape of a Lisa Frank-style dolphin riding a unicorn? I think it is.

The Betties' coach, Colonel Heavage, is a man of few words, all of them meaningful. Heavage crafts winning strategies and inspires his players to skate to the top of their potential. Physical fitness is of particular importance to Heavage. His bootcamp-style practices may leave rollergirls wincing, but those winces turn to prideful smiles when the muscles he helps build do their job in a bout.

The Betties have said goodbye to several players this season. These Betties are gone but not forgotten:

• Goodie Two Bruise: This blocker's goodness was little consolation to jammers who ended up on the floor after a hit from her. Goodie's rational approach to the game was an invaluable asset to the team.
• Atta Girl: A fiery jammer and formidable blocker, Atta Girl's chutzpah is sorely missed.
• Moloko Violet: One of Greensboro Roller Derby's original top jammers, Moloko is a real kick and good for all sorts of lashings. Her ferocity will not be easily replaced.
• Elle McFearsome: As a blocker and jammer, Elle's strengths included speed and stealth. Though fearsome to opponents, her absence makes our hearts grow fonder.
• Mama D: As they say, if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Mama D's spankings were not enjoyed by opponents, but her teammates miss her warmth and generosity.
• Erica Slapton: This all-around player was the cream of the crop. Darling, you looked wonderful all the nights you spent on the track.

The Battleground Betties will be competing against the Mad Dollies in the league championship bout this Saturday. Don't miss it! After the championship bout, we can't wait for you all to see what Greensboro Roller Derby's home teams will bring to the track in 2012. Keep an eye on our website or Facebook page (don't forget to click "like"!) for more details.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Fishnets

So I am writing, yet again, about the depths into which roller derby has strengthened my soul. I usually focus on the athletic aspect, because that is what roller derby is: a sport. But, for now, I want to focus on the other aspect of roller derby that I currently completely depend on for survival: the sisterhood.

Full disclosure, I am going through a break up. It sucks. Super hard.

Break ups are the absolute worst. They crush your spirit. Drain your resources. Make you question things about yourself you never would have before…maybe even things you previously liked about yourself (example: my former ability to take pride in knowing all of the Teen Moms' names).

I am eating like crap and drinking like a fish. On the occasion, I cry at Hallmark commercials (but, to be honest, I did that before). I completely rely on my dog for daily emotional support and I have a regular seat at my favorite local bar (Westerwood, what what!). I don’t sleep much. Though that may be in part because I am really intrigued by the Real Housewives marathon Bravo keeps pumping out (are there different casts, or do they all just have the same plastic surgeon? Good lord ladies!).

Side note: I am in no condition to feel your “damn! She watches a lot of reality TV” judgment. Capiche?

When you feel alone and confused you need a friend. But I've got a league, a tribe, a die-hard to-the-end sisterhood watching my back. Not a day has gone by since my break up where someone from Greensboro Roller Derby hasn’t done something to make this pain more tolerable. Most of the time, they didn’t even know they were giving me that push to just get though the day. A phone call here, a beer shared there; the little things that make you know YOU WILL SURVIVE THIS HEARTACHE. You will get out of bed. You will brush your teeth. You will not stalk his Facebook.

My sisters in roller derby are my rocks, my sheroes, and my confidantes. You know that old saying, “your true friend will help you hide the body”? Try having an entire league of true friends. Not even CSI: Miami could solve that murder! (I told you-I watch a lot of bad TV. It helps!)

Another side note: I am in no way planning to murder anyone.

Roller derby practice helps redirect the pain of a break up in away no amount of Lifetime movies ever could. In roller derby, you are going to fall. A lot. If you don’t fall, you aren’t trying very hard. You are just coasting. This applies to real life. My motto, in life and in derby, is GET BACK UP. I can get back up because I have sisters. I have people to help me stand up when getting up is too hard to do alone. I will fall, because I don’t coast. But I will always, always GET BACK UP.

Yes, this is really my leg. The handwriting is Shrimp n' Grit's, the tattoo is by Paula Enscore.

I will get through this break up. But I could not do it without my derby sisters. I could not do it without my skates. I could not do it without our sisterhood. I need my league now like I never have before. And my league has not let me down.

To my sisters of Greensboro Roller Derby, and the derby community at large: this wears-her-heart-on-her-sleeve skater SALUTES YOU for getting her to the other side. You know what side I am talking about, ladies. We have all been there. And thanks to the bond that is roller derby, we don’t have to do this thing alone.

Humblest thanks,

Miller Lightnin’

PS: A special shout out to Pickle Joose, Schoolya Childs, and Shrimp n’ Grit. You ladies are my heart.

Where are my elbow pads?! And other derby stress-related dreams...

It's official, roller derby has entered my psyche.  I had my first roller derby stress dream.  What exactly is a derby stress dream, you may ask?  Why, they are not unlike those wonderful school stress dreams we've all had at some point.  You know the ones I'm talking about; you can't find your locker/can't remember its combination or my personal fav, I have one exam to pass so I can graduate and I haven't been to the class all semester.  I still to this day have those and I've even become frustrated in my dream because I'm not in high school or college anymore and I already graduated from both!

This particular dream, I was late for practice, trying to strap on my gear as fast as I could except I couldn't find my elbow pads.  I found every other player's and none of them matched or even fit me.  They were too big or too small.  I was in a panic trying to find my own, frantically looking up at the clock and watching as practice was going on and I was unable to find my stupid elbow pads.  Yes, I know it sounds silly but I tell you it did not make for a restful night's sleep.

I suppose there could be a deep meaning somewhere in there.  Stop comparing myself to other skaters, or to let go of the mental blockages, or maybe that I think about derby way too much.  It's probably all of that.  However stressful it was, I was surprisingly happy about having that dream.  I guess it cements the belief that derby enters your entire being, infecting your system.  It gets in your brain, your blood, your bones, and your subconscious. 

I just hope I don't have any dreams about showing up to a bout with only my pads on.

Derby <3,
Katie Overstreet

Lessons of Fresh Meat

I just started derby about three months ago.  I say “started” instead of joined because technically I’m not even on a team yet. Rather, I‘m a member of a group of derby novices that has been lovingly labeled “Fresh Meat.” (Sounds inviting, right?)  The last time I skated I was sporting a pair of pink and white Strawberry Shortcake quads sometime circa the mid 80’s.  Before tryouts, I bought a $40 pair of kids skates from a used goods sports store because I wasn’t entirely convinced that my body would remember what to do when I put them on.  That being said, it could only have been by some freak force of nature that I made it past tryouts.  Perhaps that same supernatural phenomenon deemed me derby worthy solely to reinforce some timeless lessons that were initially learned at about the same time that I first started to skate.

Currently, my fellow “freshies” and I are in the initiation stage to the sport of derby that I like to compare to what Catholics call limbo, or “the edge of hell.”  The variations in the utter and absolute pain experienced during this part of the process are endless.  Back spasms, muscle cramping of all kinds, random bruises found in the most obscure locations, skin abrasions, a plethora of knee injuries, the multitude of torment is boundless.  We are talking serious trials and tribulations; derby is not an easy sport.  Inevitably, at some point, you will get hurt and you will want to quit. A good number of freshies do. Which brings me to Lesson #1 :  PERSEVERANCE.

The first day of practice was probably pretty similar to what it felt like the very first time that I swung my leg over the cross bar of my first big kid bike, decorated in a Rainbow Brite theme with her caricature on the seat, rainbow colored streamers, and complete with training wheels.  While I can’t really remember the sensation of gripping the handle bars tight and hoping that I don’t eat sidewalk after my dad lets go of the seat, I can imagine what it must have felt like. Learning the sport of derby is just like that. Everything is new.  At every practice there’s a new method of falling or a different way to come to a stop.  Maybe you’ll learn how to catch air the next day and jump your first obstacle, or figure out how to skate backwards without falling on your tookus.  Last, but certainly not least, maybe you’ll experience the satisfaction and adrenaline surge that directly follows learning how to drop a shoulder and pound a fellow freshie. Lesson #2 :  CONTINUING EDUCATION.

I don’t really know many of the vets.  I know their names, both derby and by birth, but I haven’t actually had a conversation with the majority of them yet.  I have, however, had the privilege of witnessing most of them in action during vet practices and at local derby bouts.  Every freshie has their favorite vets for various reasons and I’m no different in that respect.  Betty Rumble constantly maintains a carefree demeanor with ease in the midst of air born bodies and derby violence.  General Sew’s fanciful footwork never ceases to fascinate freshies and fans alike.  East Pound-Her Down’s hits will keep even the oldest of vets looking over their shoulder.  But hands down, my all-time favorite vet to watch skate is Elizabeth Hauntgomery.  It’s something about the chick’s game.  She plays with grit, with passion, and she’s so well rounded.  She can block, she can pivot, and God help you if you’re on the opposing team and she’s on the jammer line.  As for me?  At this point in my derby career, I can safely say that I am really stinkin’ good at falling. In fact, I’m downright awesome. But I’ve got dreams and ambitions, man, and I’m going places because of the importance of Lesson #3:  GOALS.

OK.  That’s all I’ve got today, but more than likely you’ll be hearing from me again. Hopefully next time it’ll be accompanied by a badass derby name.  But for now, my name’s MB and I’m proud to be a freshie for Greensboro Roller Derby. 

A Love Letter to Greensboro Roller Derby

Dear Greensboro Roller Derby,

You have owned my heart for the past two years of my life. You have strengthened my spirit, challenged my patience, and broken my bones. You have made me a better woman, a prouder woman, and a fine athlete. You have awakened a part of me I didn't know existed, and you asked for so little in return. Greensboro Roller Derby, I love you. Let me count the ways.

You have united the most rag tag, hooligan, eccentric, sensitive, loud mouthed, tattooed, caring, kind, intelligent bunch of women I have ever encountered.

I love you because you look good in black & red, teal & yellow, gold & green, and blue & red. Basically, you look good in everything.

You have made me look at my body in ways I never thought possible. I see muscle, grit, bruises, and scars instead of “problem areas”. I see my body for what it can do, not what it can do for someone else. I love my body, and I have you to thank for that. Thank you for taking that heavy burden of self hatred for never achieving unrealistic beauty standards off my back. I skate much lighter now. Thank you for pushing me to see my body as mine, as a temple, as something worthy to be respected. A thousand times thank you for this.

You have connected me with my best friends, my soul mates, my teammates, my sisters. I am never truly lonely because of the women you have bound me too.

You have made me realize that I am not who I am because of what I have failed at in my past. I am who I am because of what I succeed at now, what I work for, what I stand for. I am not a compilation of mistakes-I am a compilation of things I have learned.

My heart belongs to you because you have led me to learning how to validate myself and who I am, instead of waiting for a man to do it for me. You have freed me from the burden of societies expectations of single women.

I love you because of the fights we have had, the disagreements we have dragged out, the tears we have shed. I love you more for these things because they brought us closer, united us-made us see the truth in our own words. Each fight brought us together, instead of tearing us apart. For this, I love us and am so proud to call you mine.

Greensboro Roller Derby, there is never a dull moment with you. You like to make each bout a nail biter, each hit a stomach churner, each win a hard fought battle to the last second. The intensity and closeness of each of our bouts is a testament to you and all you have taught us.

My love for you, Greensboro Roller Derby, will stand the test of time. When I am old, and roller skating with a walker, I will always look back on our times together and smile with what teeth I have left.

You are my heart, and I will love you forever.

Love,

Your Biggest Fan, Miller Lightnin'  

Hip Check Against the Machine

Nothing makes me prouder than playing my best. I love the feeling I get driving home from a bout, win or lose, when I know I just rocked it. When taking off my uniform, I survey my numerous bruises, smeared makeup, and the impressions of other skater's derby numbers marking my arms and get a big, grin on my face. I'm proud as hell I play roller derby, and I even prouder I do it well. What is the point of doing anything you love if you ain't gonna go all out? For me, derby is a sport...a non-traditional, stick-it-to-the-gender-roles sport. Everything else about it-the personal reward, social statement, community outreach-is icing on the cake. I love my sport with every ounce of my soul, but I am damn sure tired of justifying it.

Roller derby is perpetually being portrayed as a woman's form of therapy, or an extreme way for the fairer sex to take out their pent up aggression. Assumptions are made about derby names and outfits, and skaters themselves say they are a “different person” when they put on skates. Our roller derby names are viewed and described as alter egos and we jokingly refer to it being someone else when were on the track giving gut wrenching hits.

Roller derby is an all-female sport, run by us and for us. Not to mention, it is a sport, y'all, an incredibly challenging feat of athleticism. Why does derby have to be anything other than what it is? Why do we have to constantly justify our reasons for playing derby? Why am I asking so many rhetorical questions?!

Women are complicated. We are a broad spectrum of many parts, ranging from caring and gentle to die-hard killing machines. Our society has ranked us below men, not because there are fewer of us, but because we are seen as less than men. The women's rights movement is far from over, and frankly to me has really just begun. Every day, as women, we have to prove ourselves worthy. We are supposed to be like Kelly Rippa: working women with the ability to make an excellent home cooked meal, skinny, and always perfect looking. Go against the norm of the everywoman and you are forced to explain yourself.

Roller derby is a symbol of all that is incredible about women. I am not just referring to the athletic ability of skaters, I am also talking about the organization of leagues: bout production, pr, uniform design, recruiting, training, etc. We literally do it all, which really just mirrors our work and family lives as well. We do EVERYTHING.

So, why do we call roller derby our therapy? Why is Miller Lightnin' suppose to be my alter ego, instead of an extension of who I am? Is skating the one thing keeping me off the clock tower? Frankly, it's insulting when asked to justify why I play a sport just because it isn't traditional and it involves contact. You need to know why I do something I love? Easy answer, bro: because I LOVE IT.

Roller derby is one of the many parts of me that makes me the awesome person I am. I am not who I am because of derby, but I am a better person for being a part of Greensboro Roller Derby (my league, in particular, rules really hard). Miller Lightnin' isn't my “alter ego,” it is a part of me I didn't know was there. I am Susan, Susie, Miller Lightnin, loyal friend, sister, granddaughter, feminist, student, teacher, believer, writer, child, adult, daughter, and teammate. I am woman, hear me roar.

So, sisters, remember. When asked why you play derby, don't immediately feel like you have to justify your reasons. In life, as a woman, you have two options: feed the patriarchal machine or challenge it. Feel free to choose the latter.

XOXO Miller Lightnin'  

Why Derby?

For those of you who play derby, I'm sure you have heard this question in some form once you've told someone this is your sport of choice.  Everyone who answers this question has their own reasons and their own paths that lead them to this glorious sport.  Surprisingly enough, however, many of them are very similar.  For anyone reading this who doesn't play derby or for those that are curious, I offer you my reasons.

Currently, I am in my second round of fresh meat.  I guess that makes me not-so-fresh?  Anyway, I'm not surprised, really.  If you had told me three years ago that I would be trying to make it onto a roller derby team, I would've laughed in your face.  You see, I was not a skater, not in the slightest.  I didn't grow up skating on the weekends, in fact, I avoided it.  Having skates on my feet was the most unnatural feeling ever.  I'll take my nice, flat shoes without wheels, thank you.  I would go to the occasional birthday party at a rink and once I went with my girl scout troupe.  On that trip I actually started to feel a little more comfortable on the skates, then one of the girls came around and teased me about being slow.  Way to show some girl power, friend.  So roller derby was out of the question.  Until about two years ago when I received a random invite to an interest meeting for another team.  For some unknown reason, the universe said I should go.  My daughter was born 4 months before and it seemed like it might be a fun way to get out of the house and exercise....on skates.  What am I, crazy?!  Anyway, I gave it a shot and actually started to enjoy skating.  Fast forward to this year in February, when I went to the interest meeting for the first "official" fresh meat class for Greensboro Roller Derby.  I wasn't a skilled skater but I was better than when I started.  Next thing I knew, I was doing things I never thought I could do.  Jumps, stepping, weaving, crossing over and so much more.  I was amazed and still to this day I'm amazed at how I grow and learn more about skating.  Now, I can't imagine my life without it.

The second part of the it's-crazy-to-think-I'd-play-roller-derby equation is it's an all girls sport.  Well, there are teams for men and even co-ed bouts but predominantly women play it.  You see, I was never a "have a lot of girlfriends" girl(See above story about fellow girl scout teasing me).  I never thought I would be, either.  I just figured I have my few close friends and that's cool.  Then I came into this group and met some of the nicest, diverse, crazy, funny, and supportive women(and men) ever.  It was then that I realized roller derby was magical.  How else could all these people be attracted to this one force?  It's like I grew an extended family and I love it!  These are women who want you to succeed, believe in you when you think you don't have anything left and whisky slap you at an after party(out of love, of course).  When a member of the team is injured they cook meals, bring movies, beer and a laugh.  They're a shoulder to cry on and a cheerleader when you make it over that hurdle you've been struggling with.  Simply put, a derby girl is awesomeness embodied.

For me, this is why I chose derby or maybe derby chose me.  I don't know for sure but I do know I'll never be the same because of it.

Derby <3,
The Worst Noel